Some factors to consider in choosing a funeral provider include location (ideally close to home), cost, and reputation or recommendation from other friends and relatives. Find a funeral provider who makes you feel comfortable, like they’ll take care of you. It’s important to have someone you can trust and build a relationship with, rather than someone who just wants to sell you things. [2] X Expert Source David I. JacobsonFuneral Home Director Expert Interview. 14 July 2020. Ask the funeral provider for an itemized general price list (GPL), which lays out the items and services available and how much they cost. Under federal law in the United States, you have the right to choose or refuse any goods or services you want. You should also ask the funeral provider if they offer any packages, which can often reduce the cost when compared to purchasing items and services individually. You can also call around to several providers and compare prices if the cost is a limiting factor.
the deceased’s full name and Social Security number the place and date of birth of the deceased, as well as his or her place and date of death the deceased’s next of kin your name, contact information, and relationship with the deceased the name of the deceased’s doctor whether or not an autopsy will be performed how soon the service needs to be
Traditional (also known as full-service) funeral - this plan usually involves a viewing/visitation, a formal funeral service with an officiant, a hearse rental, and the burial, entombment, or cremation of the body. This is usually the most expensive plan. Direct burial funeral - this plan skips the viewing/visitation, and generally skips the embalming since the body will not be viewed before the burial. The body is laid to rest in a simple casket, with the option of having a graveside memorial service. Direct cremation - in this plan, the body is not embalmed or put out for viewing. The remains are cremated shortly after the individual has died, and his or her ashes are transferred in an urn, with the option of a memorial service at a pre-planned location (usually someplace outside a cemetery).
If the deceased has pre-payed for the funeral, making arrangements will be somewhat easier. If not, you’ll have to work out how to pay for the goods and services you need. You may be charged additional service fees, depending on the services you agree to. You may also have to provide a cash advance if the funeral service providers need to purchase any goods or services from outside vendors. Most funeral service providers do not allow deferred payment plans. You’ll most likely have to arrange the payment before the service. You can usually pay for a funeral with cash, credit cards, a loan, or the proceeds from the deceased’s life insurance policy.
The death certificate will detail the deceased’s name, social security number, parents’ names, marital status, date and location of death, and cause of death. Death certificates are typically issued by the Bureau of Vital Records in the state that individual died in, which may not necessarily be that individual’s place of residence. You can usually request a death certificate in person, over the phone, online, or through the mail.
Be aware of the cost. Some newspapers charge over $100 to print a death notice/obituary, and they can be even more expensive if you include a photograph. Some newspapers restrict the size of a death notice. For example, the Chicago Tribute has a minimum of the deceased’s name and three lines of text, with a maximum of 70 lines of text. There is usually a deadline on how quickly a newspaper can print the death notice. For example, some newspapers require notice by a certain time the day before the notice is to be printed, while other publications may require even more time. You’ll need to provide the deceased’s full name, age, date and place of birth, date and residence at death, the names of the deceased’s immediate family, any surviving relatives’ names, any hobbies or accomplishments of the deceased, and any funeral or memorial service information you have.
any relatives, friends, and close neighbors the employer of the deceased (if he or she was still working at the time of death) a religious officiant, if the deceased was an active member of some religious community
Sometimes flowers can be arranged into decorative shapes, like a cross or a splay. You may want to choose flowers that you know the deceased liked, if you have such knowledge.
Some funeral service providers may offer a car or limo for an additional price. If the service provider does not offer this, you can make arrangements on your own by calling a transportation service and hiring a driver. Check online or search through your phone book for drivers and/or transportation services in your area.
It’s usually recommended that women dress modestly. This means wearing a long skirt or pants and avoiding any tops that expose the chest area. For men, it’s common to wear suits. However, if you don’t have a suit, make sure you dress appropriately and modestly by avoiding shorts, T-shirts, and sandals.
If you feel like crying, you’re free to cry. If you don’t feel like crying, that’s okay as well. You don’t have to say or do anything that doesn’t feel natural or comfortable to you at a funeral. Everyone there is going through the same sense of loss and grief.
Let your child ask as many questions as he or she needs to. Try to answer every question as honestly and completely as you can. [9] X Research source Frame your answers in a way that a child can understand. Think about your child’s age and previous experience with death (pets or plants, for example), and consider referring to these losses in your conversation. If your family is religious, you may want to talk about death through the lens of faith with your child. This may help your child process things, and it could provide him or her with some additional comfort.
