Try talking to people who share your hobbies, such as other members of your kickboxing class or members of a book club you belong to. Talk to people that you meet at events, such as at a poetry slam, at a protest, or at a 5K race. Join a Meetup group on Meetup. com to find people who share your interests. There are meetups for board games, hiking, knitting, and other special interests.

A friend who doesn’t listen well will change the subject, try to one-up you, or tell you how to fix your problems. [2] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source They won’t really care about what you’re saying and might be more interested in giving you advice or getting you to listen to their problems.

Actively talk with you to get to know you better. Go beyond making small talk about school, work, or the weather. Avoid distractions when they’re with you, like looking at their phone.

If you identify as gay, a good friend is someone who will be accepting of your sexuality. They’ll ask you questions, understand the coming out process is difficult, won’t put pressure on you, and won’t call you names. They’ll defend you if anyone makes fun of your identity. [5] X Research source If you don’t come from a wealthy background, a real friend will understand that friendship is about more than status, labels, and brands. They’ll accept you for your style or where you live. They won’t hold your background against you, pity you, or make fun of where you come from.

Avoid people who tend to share secrets or gossip. Chances are you won’t feel safe sharing close, personal information with them, which you should be able to do as a friend. You might want to avoid them. [7] X Research source Stay away from people who pressure you into doing things you don’t want to do. You won’t be able to build trust or feel safe with people who don’t have respect for your values.

Stay away from people who constantly complain about their problems or try to pull you down into their drama.

Volunteer. Take a music class. Join a team or a club. Walk your dog. Help out at local businesses. Explore your town more.

Keep in mind to be careful when meeting or talking to new friends online. You may be getting inaccurate information about who someone is.

Be wary of always having to be the one to make time for your friends. Your friends should also be initiating and making plans with you, too. Keep in mind not to overwhelm friends by calling them too much. Avoid calling or texting late at night. If you don’t have a lot of time to spend one-on-one, schedule a group activity. [10] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source

What do you like to do on the weekends? Who is your favorite band? Where do you like to vacation? When did you meet your boyfriend? Why do you like that sports team?

Do we mesh well? Do we get each other and enjoy each other’s company? Do I feel safe, trusting, and open?

Criticize you. Be dramatic or negative toward you. Disrespect your needs and opinions. Take advantage of you. Manipulate or control you to do what they want.

You can speak up for yourself while still avoiding blaming your friend. You can say, “I feel__when you do/say___. I need you to___. Can you do that?” For example, “I feel frustrated when you make fun of the music I like. I understand that you like different music than me, but I need you to stop. Can you do that?”

Avoid online communication and gossiping. Set online privacy settings to make their access to your information limited. Avoid frequent text messaging. Spend time in groups rather than one-on-one. Turn down invitations or say “no” when you need to.

Forgive yourself for any mistakes you make. Be open with others. Avoid calling yourself names.

You might say, “It sounds like you were feeling really disappointed that happened. Is that right?”

Keep in mind that you don’t have to share your whole life story or deepest secrets with people, particularly around newer friends. Start small and see if you can trust your friends. [16] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source For example, you may disclose a childhood fear of heights before disclosing something more important, like your religion or sexuality.

Playing an instrument. Taking a walk. Journaling. Avoiding spending too much time online.