Only latex and polyurethane condoms protect against STIs and HIV. Polyurethane condoms may break more easily than latex. Use a condom any time you have vaginal, anal, or oral sex. [2] X Research source A dental dam is a latex barrier that you can use when performing oral sex with a female partner. It can help prevent the spread of STIs and HIV. [3] X Research source Females should also consider getting the HPV vaccine to help prevent problems like genital warts and cervical cancer. [4] X Research source HPV vaccines may cause fainting or allergic reactions in some people, so talk with your doctor about whether the vaccine is right for you. [5] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source
Try looking at yourself in the mirror and make it a point to find a new positive about yourself each day. [6] X Research source You can also make it a point to get to know your own body in a sexual way. People with vaginas who masturbate have significantly more sexual satisfaction than those who do not [7] X Research source Hurlbert, D. F. , & Whittaker, K. E. (1991). The role of masturbation in marital and sexual satisfaction: A comparative study of female masturbators and nonmasturbators. Journal of Sex Education and Therapy, 17(4), 272-282 Knowing what feels good for yourself will help you communicate your needs to your partner.
No matter how well you may think you know each other, your partner isn’t a mind reader. If there is something you want to change about your sex life, then it’s important to talk about it. If your partner is really committed to you, then they will be willing to listen and respect your needs. [11] X Research source Communicating your sexual needs can even be a good bonding experience for you and your partner. [12] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
Don’t judge your partner for what they like. It can be scary for both of you to divulge that kind of information, so listen to them without interrupting. If your partner likes something that you are not comfortable with, let them know that you are not interested in it without making them feel weird or bad about their desires. [14] X Research source Avoid using euphemisms when possible. These are not clear, and can make it harder for your partner to understand you. Use language that you’re comfortable with, but remember that sex is not “wrong” or “dirty,” and using terminology that is clear and communicative is helpful. [15] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
For example, tell your partner, “I feel as if the sex is too rushed. What can we do to fix this?” This statement communicates the problem you are having with the sex but doesn’t place the blame on anyone. Instead, it shows that it is something that you can work on together. [16] X Research source Frame things positively when possible, such as “I really enjoy when you do ____ and would like that to happen more often” or “Such-and-such really works better for me than so-and-so – can we try that instead?"[17] X Research source
When you see your partner wince, stop. You might be hurting them. When you hear your partner moan, repeat the motion you just did because it probably feels really good. Most importantly, pay attention throughout sex to make sure that your partner is mutually interested in everything you are doing. Stop immediately if they say “no. ” Remember that just because your partner doesn’t say “no” doesn’t mean that they are comfortable with the situation. Consent is an ongoing process. After all, your goal is to get a resounding “yes!” from the both of you.
Try to go in with no expectations. Just let things go naturally. [18] X Research source
You can also play games with one another to liven up the experience. Always focus on connection and keeping them guessing to make sex interesting. Make a point to keep kissing. Returning for a sexy make-out every now and again can be a great way to draw out the experience.
It’s in your best interest to get your lady in the mood. It will increase her natural lubrication and make her enjoy sex more. [19] X Research source
You don’t always have to say it, but take time to enjoy it. Let your partner see you enjoying their body too.
Choose lubricant products without the ingredient glycerin, which leads to vaginal dryness. Avoid using scented products or other materials that could cause vaginal dryness, including douches, hand lotions, soaps, or bath oils. To use lubricants correctly, follow the manufacturer’s instructions. [23] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source There are three types of lubrication, water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based. Water-based lubricants rinse off easily, and are easy to find in stores. [24] X Research source They can also be used with condoms, can prevent the condom from breaking[25] X Research source , and produce fewer genital symptoms than silicone-based lubricants. [26] X Research source Herbenick, D. , Reece, M. , Hensel, D. , Sanders, S. , Jozkowski, K. , & Fortenberry, J. D. (2011). Association of lubricant use with female sexual pleasure, sexual satisfaction, and genital symptoms: A prospective daily diary study. The journal of sexual medicine, 8(1), 202-212 Silicone-based lubricants last longer than other lubricants and are the best choice for anal sex. [27] X Research source Oil-based lubricants should never be used with latex condoms because they can cause the condom to break. [28] X Research source
A recent study reveals that partners who make noise during sex tend to have better sex. So just do what feels natural and if you feel like making noise, let it loose. [29] X Research source
You should also experiment with sex toys. Including sexual materials in your sex life can improve your satisfaction and most sex toys can be pleasurable for both partners. [30] X Research source Haavio-Mannila, E. , & Kontula, O. (1997). Correlates of increased sexual satisfaction. Archives of sexual behavior, 26(4), 399-419 Other sexual materials also might help create some sparks in your love life. Do some research and see what you might be missing out on. Lots of people have very specific sexual fantasies that they are too embarrassed to share with their partners. If you feel comfortable enough with your partner, then share your fantasies with one another. [31] X Research source
Incorporate variation in the positions you use, where you have sex, who’s in control, and what extras you use. [32] X Research source
If you and your partner are male and female, you could try side by side positions. If one or both of you have back or joint pain, or if there is discomfort due to penis size, side by side positions can offer more control and comfort. Both partners will be laying on their side facing the same direction for these positions. There are many variations so find what works best for you.
The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy recommends the “Better Sex” video series by the Sinclair Institute. [35] X Research source
Many conditions that cause sexual dysfunction are very treatable. Don’t feel embarrassed about going to your physician; sex issues are very common and your doctor likely deals with them all the time. [37] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
It can be immensely embarrassing to talk to a stranger about your sex life, but sex therapists are held to the same rules of confidentiality as all mental health professionals. They’re there to help you, and will not judge you or discuss your issues with anyone else.
