A woman may expose certain areas of her body like her neck or wrists, and may play with her hair. [2] X Research source She may touch you or lean against you, or maybe she will turn towards you with her arms open and uncrossed. [3] X Research source A man may exhibit more obvious and bold signals. These may include resting an arm on the back of your chair, engaging in strong eye contact, and sitting or leaning close to you.
Smiling can be a strong indicator that someone is interested. Make sure you also are smiling to communicate your interest to the other person. You may notice that you are ‘mirroring’, which is the subconscious copying of the actions of the other person’s body positions. When someone smiles at you, you tend to smile back. Flirting is a way of mirroring each other’s actions. Try to see if you’re on the same wavelength by doing an action. If the other person mirrors you, great. If she doesn’t, go back to mirroring her to create a bond. [4] X Research source
Open ended questions about current events, your personal backgrounds, common interests and hobbies, can steer the conversation in the right direction. Prompts like, “What books are you reading these days? Seen any great movies lately? What is your favorite part of the city/town/neighborhood you live in?” are good ways to keep the conversation going. Follow up questions like, “What was your favorite character in that book? What did you think of the end of that movie? Why do you like that part of the city so much?” illustrate you are paying attention to your partner’s answers and reacting to him in an interested way.
Give the person your number. You can do this in a subtle way. Recommend your favorite movie or book, then say, “Let me give you my number so you can let me know what you think!” Send a casual message on social media. Comment on his picture on Instagram, send a Facebook message, or Tweet him. You can always use her updates to start a conversation, and then open an opportunity to ask her out casually. [9] X Research source
Think about mentioning a specific thing that happened during the date, like a joke or a food you both ate. That can open up the lines of communication for both of you. [10] X Research source
Don’t be pushy or aggressive. You can be direct while still being casual. If you seem too pushy, you may scare the person away.
You should both be giving your consent to the first move in either a verbal or physical way. It doesn’t matter what the other person said or did earlier; consent is always about that exact moment. [12] X Research source You should both be in a state that enables cohesive decision making: this means that you should both be sober, particularly if this is the first time you are becoming physical.
Make sure to go slow enough to give the other person time to say no. You want to have a fun, consensual, and safe time with each other. This includes making the person feel comfortable. If the person isn’t ready to take it as far as you are, then respect her wishes. Make sure you have protection. This one seems like a no brainer, but if you’re preparing for a first move, always have condoms on hand (regardless of your gender, women should bring their own, too!). Part of having an enjoyable time together is ensuring you’re both safe and comfortable, so always use protection.
