If you wait around for your friend to reach out to you, it might never happen. By making the first move, you can ensure that you start along the path to making up.
Try something like, “I know we had a disagreement, but our friendship means a lot to me. I’m reaching out to see if you’d like to talk about what happened. ”
While calling and texting is great to get the conversation going, you probably don’t want to have an entire conversation over the phone. Try saying something like, “I’d like to talk about what happened so we can repair our friendship. ”
You can say something like, “I think talking face-to-face would be better than over the phone. Do you have any time in the next few days to chat with me?” If you live far away from each other and can’t meet up, that’s okay. Consider doing a video call so you can see each other’s faces as you talk.
Talking in private is the only way you’ll both get to say exactly what you need to say. If there are other people around, it can put pressure on you both.
You could say something like, “I’m sorry for yelling at you during our argument last week. I got too angry too quickly, and I shouldn’t have escalated the situation. ” You could also say something like, “I’m really sorry for talking about you behind your back. I know that doesn’t feel great, and I shouldn’t have done that. ”
Try something like, “When you invited everyone in class to the study group except me, it made me feel excluded. I felt sad that you wouldn’t think to invite me even though we’re good friends. ” You can also say something like, “I was upset because you talked to Melissa about our friendship before you talked to me. It hurt to know that you didn’t feel like you could talk to me about our issues. ”
You can say something like, “I’d like to hear about your perspective, if you feel open to sharing. ”
Your friend might say something like, “I didn’t invite you to the study group because I thought you had already studied for the test. I wasn’t thinking about how it might hurt you or make you feel excluded. ” As long as you two both get a chance to speak, you should be able to resolve your conflict.
Your friend might say something like, “In the future, I’d really like it if you didn’t talk about me behind my back. It really hurt my feelings, and it was hard to hear about it from other people. ” Try not to get defensive as your friend talks. They listened to you, so now you can listen to them.
For example, you could say, “I think in the future, I’d like to be invited to any gatherings you plan, even if you think they aren’t my thing. That way, I won’t feel excluded, and I can make a decision on my own whether or not I want to come. ”
You can say something like, “Now that we’ve made a plan, I hope we can move on and be friends again. I really value your friendship so it means a lot to me. ” If you haven’t reached a good resolution or you don’t feel satisfied with your friend’s apology, it will be hard to forgive them. Keep talking about your issues until you feel okay with moving on from the disagreement.
You can say something like, “All we’re doing is making the fight worse, and I think we both need to cool off. Let’s talk again in a few days when we both are a little more clear-headed. ” Walking away doesn’t have to mean that your friendship is over. All it means is that you need to reach out again when your emotions aren’t so high. If you can, plan to meet up in a few days when both of you are feeling more calm.
