“I’m very sorry to hear about the passing of your grandfather. I want you to know that you’re very important to me and if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. ” “I know you didn’t get into the college you were hoping you would. I’m always around if you ever want to talk about it. ” “I heard you didn’t make the basketball team. I know you trained you really hard for it. If you ever want to let off any steam, I’ll be there. ” “I’m sure the divorce has been really difficult to cope with. Let me know if you want to discuss it. ”
Listening to your friend when they’re feeling down can help comfort them and allow them to destress. You may want to tell stories from your own life to relate to your friend, but you’ll better serve them by being quiet and letting them talk. Keep your opinions to yourself. Your friend will feel worse if they feel like you’re judging them. Never say “I told you so. ” Even if you warned your friend about a situation in the past, what’s done is done. Being right isn’t as important as being there for your friend.
“Do you remember that time we went to the beach for spring break? What was your favorite part of that trip?” “I know you really miss your uncle. What’s the funniest thing he would do at your family reunions?” “Lucy was such a good dog. What was she like as a puppy?”
“I can’t fully understand your dilemma, but I really want to help you get through it. ” “There’s no way for me to know exactly how this is affecting you, but I’ll try my best to help you cope with it. ” “I realize what you’re going through is deeply personal and I appreciate you sharing your feelings with me. ”
“You’re an amazing parent. You’ve raised such wonderful, talented children. ” “Remember that time we got lost on that hiking trip? I’m really glad you had the skills to guide us home. ” “I’m really grateful to have a friend like you who’s smart, caring and fun to be around. ”
Go to the market to pick up groceries for your friend. Pick up your friend’s kids from school. See if there’s any yard-work you can do around your friend’s house.
Be careful that you don’t encourage your friend to use food to deal with all their problems. Constant comfort eating can lead to binging which can cause a variety of health problems. A little alcohol can help boost your friend’s mood, but too much could have the opposite effect.
Give your friend the right type of physical attention for them. Your friend may not need a hug but may simply want you to hold their hand for a while or give them a shoulder rub to help them release stress. You can even do something nice for them like paint their nails or do their hair. Use your better judgement. Always ask before hugging or initiating any sort of physical contact with your friend. Some people don’t like to be touched when they feel vulnerable. They may prefer to have their own personal space to deal with their issues.
hiking exercising together riding go carts going out to eat attending a party seeing a movie
expressing extreme anger or guilt neglecting personal hygiene obsessing about death becoming dependent on alcohol giving away their favorite possessions for no reason getting their affairs in order seeking to obtain guns, pills or other tools to commit suicide
“Are you feeling so bad that you are thinking about suicide?” “Have you thought about how you would do it?” “Do you have what you need to do it?” “Have you thought about when you would do it?”
If you feel that your friend poses a threat to your personal safety, get out immediately.
Low risk: Your friend has some suicidal thoughts but no plan to do it and says they will not commit suicide. Moderate risk: Your friend has suicidal thoughts and a vague idea about how they might do it. Their plan isn’t very lethal and they say they will not commit suicide. High risk: Your friend has suicidal thoughts and a specific plan about how they would do it. Their plan is very lethal but they say they will not commit suicide. Severe risk: Your friend has suicidal thoughts and a plan to commit suicide that is highly lethal. They say that they will commit suicide.
