Try writing a list of who you are. [2] X Research source On a piece of paper, number 1 to 20. For each number, give a different answer to the statement “Who am I?”. Then look at each statement and decide if that’s primarily based on what you think of yourself or what others think of you.
Sometimes we have both an immediate feeling and counter-feeling. The immediate feeling is your initial impression. The counter-feeling is a cognitive (i. e. , thought) response based on ideas such as “What ‘should’ I think or feel?” or “What would other people do?”. That initial impression is your inner voice.
This is not to say that your initial impressions are more correct or accurate than the opinions of others. The goal is not to evaluate the information being presented–just to focus on what your own unique contribution is to a situation.
If you are a particularly submissive individual you may find it difficult to differentiate your inner voice from that of an oppressive other. You can identify this oppressive other as the one who almost immediately overrides your intuition. You will frequently imagine their facial expressions when you hear their imagined voice. Try journalling about your thoughts. Write down the arguments and statements. Then go back and try to put a face to the individual arguments. For example, “Oh, that’s what my dad would say. "
Do not waste time fighting with conflicting opinions. Just as in real life, the more you stand there and argue, the more occupied you are. Simply leave the conversation to quiet the racket. If you have trouble identifying your inner voice from the others, silence all of them. Try to quiet your mind altogether. Then focus only on your impressions or gut-feelings. Listen to the voices and identify which comments are consistent with your impressions and gut-feelings. That’s your inner voice.
Sometimes you may only know your inner voice is trying to speak to you when you sense an unresolved conflict in your mind. Another method is when you have an answer to a question or decision but it just doesn’t settle well with you. That part of you saying “Hold on a minute” is your inner voice.
If closing your eyes does not work, try getting up and walking around. You may choose to pace in you home for serious one-on-one conversations or go for a walk outside if you need a distraction from your current setting.
Responding out-loud to your inner voice makes the conversation seem more realistic and natural. This also helps you to differentiate your inner voice from your own voice. When you feel that internal conflict arising you might consider going back to journalling to focus on your inner voice’s contributions juxtaposed to the noise of other imagined opinions.
It may not always be the best decision to follow your inner voice in spite of social norms and conventions. You may need to postpone satisfying your inner voice when it advises actions that could get you fired from you job (e. g. , yelling at your boss).
Smells can also be very distracting. Practicing meditation in the rest room at work may be a bad idea. However, subtle scents from burning candles may produce a calming effect. They can effectively quiet the smell of a room and also bring you pleasant feelings.
As an alternative, you may want to keep your eyes open. If when you close your eyes your mind creates vivid imaginations of scenery you may not be able to be alone with your inner voice this way. Instead, sit in a room with nothing in front of you but a lit candle. Focus on the candle’s flame instead of the back of your eyelids. A fire in a fireplace or wood stove will work as well.
If you are having trouble hearing yourself breath, try breathing more quickly through your nose and exhaling more slowly through your mouth. Your mouth should almost be whistling so that you can hear the sound of the steady flow of air moving through your slightly opened lips.
