Sadness Fear Anxiety Joy Frustration Grief Depression
For instance, if you feel the urge to cry in a happy situation, consider whether you think the situation is “too good to be true,” or is fleeting. If you feel the urge to cry when you are being evaluated (such as during a review at work), determine if your thoughts are causing you to feel judged harshly, singled out personally, inadequate, etc.
For instance, if you are being evaluated at work and your manager suggests there are areas you could improve upon, are you telling yourself this means “I am terrible at my job,” or are you concentrating on forming a specific plan of action to move forward? Similarly, if a friend is upset with you and you feel the urge to cry, ask yourself if you are telling yourself “My friend hates me,” or simply that “I have done something specific to hurt my friend, and I should not do this again. ” Sometimes, the way you think could contribute to your crying. For example, you might overgeneralize a situation or think in terms of “all or nothing. " These can make a situation seem more dire than it is. Try to use logic to redirect your thoughts.
Common forms of self-criticism include statements like “I’m too emotional,” “Men shouldn’t cry,” and “I’m a failure. ” Replace these criticisms with thoughts that are more self-compassionate, like “I worked really hard on that project, and I’m proud even if it didn’t quite succeed,” or “I really care about this issue, and I know my feelings are invested in it. ” A good way to reduce self-criticism is to think about what you would tell your best friend in this situation. Treat yourself the same way you would treat your friend.
When you cry and others seem unprepared or surprised, you should nevertheless expect them to show empathy by saying something like “I can see this is something really important to you,” or “I know you are upset. ” [2] X Research source If you cry in front of someone who doesn’t seem to know how to react, you don’t have to ignore it. You can try saying something like “You see, this is really important to me,” or “I’m upset because …. ” This will help the person understand what is going on.
For instance, if you have a tendency to cry during family conflicts, imagine a situation in which you talk to your family while remaining composed and confident. If you can imagine how you will appear when you don’t cry, you’ll have a plan. If you are trying to avoid crying when defending yourself, imagine situations in which you speak up. For instance, imagine meeting with your boss for an evaluation and saying “I appreciate your feedback on X issue. I’d like to offer my perspective on the same. ” If you are trying to avoid crying when speaking in public, imagine yourself on a stage confidently delivering your speech, presentation, etc. Then, when you actually have to speak in public, you will already have rehearsed a good outcome.
Try to avoid suppressing your emotions. It is healthier to accept that you are upset about something.
