What do you love the most? What creates the strongest feelings in you? What makes you cry, or feel like crying? What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? The ugliest? What would you like to avoid at all costs? What is the most important thing in your life? What could you never do without?

Think of it as facing your fears. If something causes you to feel too much, you can learn to desensitize yourself to it. If you watch a hundred horror movies, the hundred-and-first will be much less scary. [3] X Research source

If you can’t stop thinking about an ex who brought you great pain, look through old photos. Remembering the good times, one last time. Then create a box in your mind and burn those memories. Burn those photos. Treat it like a serious ritual, as silly as it may feel or sound. Say out-loud, “This is the final time that a horror movie will bother me. I will never fear another, and I never need to see another. " Discard the photos for real.

Only keep friends who support you and bring positive energy, not friends who criticize or tease. If your friends don’t, get new ones.

Some people may come across as cold or unfeeling, because they’re drowning in work. Keep your schedule as busy as possible, your time as occupied as you can. Get busy. Pick up a new hobby, if you’re struggling to think of things to do. Play an instrument, pick up a new sport, or take up some kind of collection. Always be active in something, working toward a goal.

Your feelings will always be a part of you on some level. Even the Dali Lama gets angry occasionally, and the toughest MMA fighter will occasionally be brought to tears. If your emotions don’t rule you, you’ll be calm, cool, and collected. You’ll be unflappable. It’s not “losing” your emotions, it’s keeping them far away and under control.

As you feel a particular emotion coming on, name it: “I feel anger happening,” or “There’s anger here. " It might sound weird, but it helps you put the emotion somewhere else. Don’t identify with your feelings. Don’t say, “I am angry. " How you feel doesn’t define you as a person. You’re not the sum of the things you feel. You’re bigger than your feelings. [6] X Expert Source Laura Horne, MPHHealth Education Specialist Expert Interview. 20 August 2019.

Imagine you could “watch” your suffering happen, as if it were happening to another person. Distance it, away from your conception of yourself. Put your suffering just over there.

Work on thinking less about how you feel and more in just feeling it in the moment and letting it go. If something makes you mad, don’t bury it under the surface. Say, “That just made me mad” and explain why.

Each day, try sitting and taking deep breaths for 15-20 minutes, or more if you’re comfortable and have the time. Breathe in deeply for 10 seconds, hold your breath for 5 seconds, and exhale again for 10 seconds.

Don’t push yourself too hard, if you’re not a regular exerciser, but try to get into shape if you want to experience this, then try challenging yourself to the “one more” game. If you’re out jogging and you reach the point that you were about to stop, make yourself do one more lap, or go one more block. Do one more rep squat, or one more minute of burpees.

When you feel emotional discomfort, or pain, force yourself to say (or think): “Other people feel this. " Your suffering is not unique. It is the suffering that others have experienced and do experience on a regular basis. Breathe that suffering in. Take on the burden of that suffering from others, each time you breathe, and exhale positive energy and emotions back into the world. Say, “May others be relieved of this suffering, as I take it on. "

If you’re in serious physical pain, it’s also important to discuss pain management options with your doctor. Don’t suffer in silence. Try to describe your pain as accurately and honestly as possible, and seek a variety of treatment options.