For example, if you will be receiving a large inheritance, a prenuptial agreement can help ensure you retain ownership of these assets instead of them being part of shared marital property. Alternatively, if your partner is liable for a large debt, a prenuptial agreement can protect you from being subject to your partner’s creditors. [4] X Research source If you do not currently have any major financial assets, but expect to earn an increased amount of income during your marriage, or if you are pursuing an educational degree in a highly lucrative profession, you should still consider filing a prenuptial agreement.
Be aware, however, that certain expenses—such as paying for college using federal financial aid—still require both parents to be financially involved regardless of the existence of a prenuptial agreement.
To find an attorney ask friends and family for recommendations. If they do not have any recommendations, you should look at your state bar’s website, which will often have a lawyer referral service or a list of qualified attorneys. When you are choosing an attorney, find one who specializes in marriages and prenuptial agreements. Once you find some potential candidates, sit down with them for an initial consultation. During this consultation you should ask the attorney about their background and experience in dealing with prenuptial agreements. Make sure you feel comfortable with them representing you. When you find the right attorney, hire them and make sure you get your fee arrangement in writing.
To find an attorney ask friends and family for recommendations. If they do not have any recommendations, you should look at your state bar’s website, which will often have a lawyer referral service or a list of qualified attorneys. When you are choosing an attorney, find one who specializes in marriages and prenuptial agreements. Once you find some potential candidates, sit down with them for an initial consultation. During this consultation you should ask the attorney about their background and experience in dealing with prenuptial agreements. Make sure you feel comfortable with them representing you. When you find the right attorney, hire them and make sure you get your fee arrangement in writing.
Be sure to touch on all the financial issues that may affect your future marriage, including: current assets and debts, credit ratings, shared expenses, whether you and your partner will maintain separate bank accounts, what you and your partner’s financial goals are, whether one of you will stay at home with the children or if you will both work, etc. [7] X Research source Try beginning the conversation with a financial issue both of you share: “Hey, so I was looking over some bills today, and I realize I still have a ways to go in paying off my student loans. What do yours look like?”
A good time to bring it up is when you’re already talking about money, as mentioned in the previous step. You can also start the conversation by discussing a television show, movie, news story, or a divorce that someone you know is going through: “What a mess. I think you should be able to keep whatever you had before you got married. What do you think?” If you are attending religious counseling as a couple prior to your marriage, try including a conversation about your finances and how you will support each other during the course of the marriage as a way to broach the subject of a prenuptial agreement[9] X Research source : “My mother left me a sizable inheritance. I’d like to keep that separate from our shared finances so we can use it if one of us gets sick or as a college-fund for our future children. That way, we don’t have to worry about saving as much of our regular income. What do you think?”
This way, you can discuss this subject as something you are doing together for the benefit of both of you (and any children involved), rather than as a contingency plan in case your marriage fails. Focus on reasons other than a possible break up for the reason you want the agreement: “So, I have student loans that I will have to pay off over the next ten years. I have some money saved up, and I’d like to keep that aside from our shared finances in case I ever need emergency funds to keep making regular payments. I don’t ever want you to be liable for my debt. Does that sounds good to you?” You can also consider utilizing the services of a mediator who specializes in prenuptial agreements. [11] X Research source This will provide a controlled, non-judgmental environment in which you and your partner can sort out the details without the formality of a lawyer present.
If you anticipate your partner getting defensive, emphasize your own vulnerability. Conversely, try not to get defensive yourself. Chances are one of you makes more money than the other, but it is almost certain both of you work hard at what you do. [12] X Research source You might also explain that it’s not the commitment or marriage that you’re questioning; it’s the legalities of the “contract” you’re figuratively signing when you get married. In other words, you don’t agree with your local marriage/divorce laws, and wish to draft your own version to make the laws suit your particular needs. [13] X Research source Encourage your partner to think about his or her own assets and future as well. Try to keep the tone light. You two are in love, after all. “I love the fact we’re both gainfully employed—big change from the days I was delivering pizzas and living off government macaroni & cheese, right? Now that the universe has decided to give me a win, and I’m making good money now, I think I’d like to set some aside in a separate account to take care of my parents. Would you be alright with that?”
Reiterate that it will protect your partner as well: “I don’t want you ever to be responsible for money I owed before I met you. This document will make sure this happens. It also allows you to put some money aside for things that come up in your life. " Make your reasons clear: “This isn’t because I don’t trust you, I just want to make sure our parents/our children/our future is protected. " Paint the agreement more as a financial plan than as an escape valve: “We’re starting this life together, I’d just like to have a financial roadmap in place so we know exactly where we stand now—and where we need to go—to achieve our mutual dreams. I was never good with my money, but now that we’re together I’d like to start. " If your partner remains reticent, you will have to assess the benefit of pushing them against the cost of alienating them or starting your marriage off on the wrong foot.
When it doubt, disclose.
Restrictions on child support, custody, or visitation; Giving up rights to alimony; Encouragements to divorce; and Rules about non-financial matters (e. g. , who will do chores, whether you will have pets, who will take the child to school). [15] X Research source
Include locations and addresses of all your properties; bank account names and numbers; the make, model, and year of any vehicles you own; and explicit descriptions of any valuable belongings in your possession, such as cuts of diamonds on jewelry, or the names of artists for paintings you own.
Also consider what will happen in the event an asset increases in value over the course of a marriage (i. e. , if the value of your collectible car appreciates dramatically in value over the course of the next ten years). [19] X Research source Be as specific as you can when referring to each asset. There should be no room for confusion regarding the property to which a particular provision of the agreement refers. Include assets or provisions that deal only with finances and property, such as businesses, vehicles, homes, valuable jewelry, antiques, properties you own, savings accounts, stocks, and inheritances. Be sure to keep separate property in the original owner’s name only throughout the duration of the marriage, or this may override the prenuptial agreement. For example, “The following shall constitute the Parties’ Separate Property: The property listed on Schedule A as [Partner 1’s] property and on Schedule B as [Partner 2’s] property, which schedules are annexed hereto and made part hereof. “[20] X Research source The “schedules” would be separate, attached documents that detail specific property for each person.
You should also detail how assets acquired over the course of the marriage will be divided in the event the marriage ends. For example, “The following shall constitute the Parties’ Marital Property: All property acquired during the marriage until the occurrence of a Termination Event [divorce, separation, annulment, etc. ] that is not Separate Property as set forth in the previous section [that details specific property that will be kept separate]. “[22] X Research source
For example, “Obligations [debts] of a party incurred prior to the marriage shall remain the separate obligations of that party. The other party shall not be liable for those obligations, and shall be indemnified and held harmless from them by the responsible party. Such existing obligations shall be paid from the separate property of the responsible party. “[24] X Research source
For example, “In the event of a legal separation, divorce, or annulment, the parties agree to waive any rights to spousal support or maintenance of any kind to which either might otherwise be entitled. The parties agree that this provision may be entered as a complete defense by either party in response to an action for alimony. “[26] X Research source This is also a good time to include provisions relating to children from previous marriages, if this situation applies to you. The agreement can detail what support will be given to any minor children in the event of a divorce. [27] X Research source
For example, “In the event of a Termination Event: The marital home shall be placed on the market for sale within one year from the date of the Termination Event and the net proceeds of the sale shall be distributed in accordance with the terms of this Agreement. [Partner 1 or 2] has the right to remain in the marital residence up to one (1) year following a Termination Event. “[29] X Research source
For example, “In the event of a Termination Event: Each Party shall retain his or her Separate Property, and the other Party agrees not to make any claim in or to such property. Except as otherwise provided in this Agreement, all Martial Property shall be divided between the Parties in accordance with [state law]. “[31] X Research source Be aware that while you can attempt to include provisions relating to alimony in the agreement, not all states allow this.
You can also detail when and how the prenuptial agreement can be renegotiated at a later date. For example, “This Agreement may not be amended or revoked except by an instrument in writing signed by both of the parties and acknowledged and witnessed with the same formalities of this Agreement, expressly modifying or revoking one or more or all of the provisions of this Agreement. “[32] X Research source Be aware, however, that states are not likely to give much weight to any sections of a prenuptial agreement that mandate certain consequences for a person based on his or her degree of “fault” (like having an affair).
Make sure each person has fully disclosed all assets and debts. Make sure neither person has pressured the other to sign, and that each person has had enough time to fully consider the agreement before signing it. Make sure the agreement considers each person. Don’t try to take advantage of the other person or try to leave them with less than they deserve if the marriage ends. Make sure both people have an opportunity to have their own lawyer read it before they sign. [34] X Research source
It should be in writing. It should be dated and signed by both you and your partner. Some states require one or two witnesses to the signing of the document. Both you and your partner should visit a notary public in person, each testify to the document’s authenticity, and then get the document officially notarized. Make sure you have at least three copies for your records—one for each person and another to give to a third-party or save in a shared secure location.