Look around you at work or at school. If someone makes your heart flutter on first sight, try to meet them. Find excuses to spend time around them like asking them to help you with a school or work project. Don’t discount people because they aren’t your “type. ” Sometimes crushes come in the least expected packages, so don’t lose opportunity by being close-minded. [4] X Research source
Look for the laughs. Genuine and frequent laughter is often a good sign of initial compatibility. If someone makes you smile, it’s worth a lot. [5] X Research source If you know a friend has a crush on you but you’re not sure if you’re physically attracted to the person, ask yourself some questions about the emotional side of things. Try writing a list of all the things you like about that person. Ask yourself how the list makes you feel. Often, as emotional attraction grows, physical attraction follows. [6] X Research source
Research dating sites. Like dating in real life, different dating sites are right for different people. They all offer different types of services and levels of customization. [8] X Research source Don’t overlook social media. Social media can be a great way to reconnect with old flames or old friends or to meet new people. It takes some of the risk out of online dating. Through someone’s social media profile, you can see a slightly less curated version of their lives and check if you have mutual friends or interests. Sending a quick, personal message is painless, and there’s no pressure for the other person to respond if they aren’t interested.
If your crush is in a relationship of any kind, let it go. Period. You don’t want to break up your crush and their significant other, and chances are they won’t return your feelings. Even if they do, it’s sure to become messy quickly It should go without saying, but only approach good people. If you have any knowledge that your crush has done or said something violent, cruel, or illegal, run in the other direction. No matter how romanticized in books and movies, the “bad girl” or “bad boy” never makes for a good partner. If you do like a friend, make sure it’s worth the risk. Letting a friend know you want more out of the friendship might lead to awkwardness or distance. Make a pros and cons list, and think about how this specific person might respond if they don’t return your feelings. [9] X Research source
Invite them to group events. You don’t have to start out asking your date to a romantic dinner for two. Try inviting them to casual hangouts with your friends. You can show them how fun you are in a social setting without the pressure of private conversation. Extend an open-ended invitation. For example, if you find out this person likes sushi, say something like, “We should get sushi sometime!” If they say “yes,” it leaves it up to them to make the actual plans, and if they never follow up, they probably weren’t truly interested. [10] X Research source Use body language. When you’re hanging out, give them a small touch on the arm, or sit slightly closer to them than you would one of your friends. Gauge their physical reaction to your closeness. If they return these small gestures unconsciously, chances are good that they like you, too. [11] X Research source
Add emojis. If you’re texting, try adding just a few smiley faces to your messages to let your crush know that talking to them makes you smile. Tease him a little. Don’t be mean, but a little bit of playful teasing can go a long way. Use your eyes. Let him catch you staring for a couple of seconds and then quickly look away. Mimic the other person’s body language whenever possible. If they’re sitting back, for example, do the same.
It’s okay to be nervous. Don’t try too hard to hide it. Your crush will think it’s sweet. Focus on your crush, not yourself. Think about all the great things about them. Shyness often begins when you are too focused on your own insecurities. Start with a common interest. Talk about something you love and are very familiar with. This will help you avoid awkward pauses. Text. Communicating through texts can be a great way for a shy person to get to know someone. It will help you become comfortable and make it easier to talk in person.
Don’t feel like you have to initiate in person. Write a quick note or send a text message after a hang out session. After this, invite them to do something that is clearly a date. Say something like, “I have really enjoyed getting to know you better! Would you want to go out to dinner with me on Thursday?” Keep it simple and specific.
Remember, this will take time. Don’t be discouraged if you continue to have feelings for your crush. Just do your best to interact with new people, and don’t be tempted to continue trying to flirt with your crush. Let yourself be sad. It’s fine to take a day or a week to wallow a little. Vent to your friends. Treat yourself to a nice meal.
If your friends think your crush is interested, it may be time to be more blunt with your crush about their feelings. Just ask them like this: “Hey! I have a confession to make. I have been really crushing on you lately. Just wondering if maybe you felt the same?”
