For example, you might want to ask “How is your biology class going? Have you learned anything cool lately?” Keep the conversation light to help relax your teen. Then you could say “did they talk to you at school about the recent sexting scandal?” Make sure to weave into the conversation the reasons for how and why sexting is wrong.
Being open to your teen at any time can do wonders with helping her trust and confide in you about possible sexting. [7] X Research source For example, you can say, “I know a lot of kids are doing this and I really understand that it’s considered a normal part of being on social media, but I want you to understand that I’m looking out for your well-being right now and down the road. ” If you are monitoring your teen’s web usage, which is a significant part of most teens’ lives, it’s also important that you be honest with her about this so that she doesn’t feel unduly threatened. You could say “I’m putting this monitor on the computer to protect you from anyone that may be sending you or try to send you inappropriate material. ”
You may not feel your teen is not responsible enough for a smartphone with camera and Internet capability, so give her a basic cell phone on which she can make calls and send text messages without images. Be aware that this will make you unpopular with your teen, but allowing her to prove she can be responsible may help prevent her from sexting in the long run. Your cellular and data provider may be able to set limits that your teen cannot control from your home. Ask the respective company if this is an option for you. In some cases, you can set restrictions on certain apps and features on smartphones. Most smartphones have information on establishing restrictions readily available online. [10] X Research source
Know which social media sites your teen uses and have a policy about her online “friends” to show her not only that you care, but that you won’t tolerate any sexting or similar behaviors. [12] X Research source Have a strategy for monitoring your teen’s devices. For example, you can tell your teen that you will check her device every day for browsing history (be aware that they can use incognito or delete their history). [13] X Research source Make sure to check chat logs, emails, files, and social networking sites for inappropriate content from friends or strangers. [14] X Research source Consider setting up your own social media profile, which may help deter sexting. This is one of the most effective ways at helping to control such behavior. [15] X Research source Be aware that even if you are vigilant about monitoring your teen’s devices, she can still delete potentially problematic content.
Commercially-available programs. Your Internet provider. Downloads from your computer or device. Parental controls available on computers and devices. [18] X Research source Use this software as often as you deem necessary or whenever you receive a warning message.
Realize that taking away devices may make you very unpopular with your child and may have consequences for her from her friends. Try offering alternatives such as giving them disposable cameras for fun.
Try and keep your teen active and engaged. Boredom may lead to increased web use, thereby creating temptation to take part in suggestive behaviors. Don’t repress your teen’s natural curiosity about sex. Not talking to her about sex, sexting and their consequences may make her more likely to engage in these behaviors.
Your school may have an alert system in place to inform parents about issues related to sexting. Meeting your teen’s friends’ parents occasionally may also help you identify potential problems.
You may want to keep your teen a part of your learning technology. Ask her to teach you about social media or other sites she uses frequently. If you do “friend” your teen on social media, don’t be a nuisance by stalking her or maintaining a very visible presence. This may embarrass her and cause problems with her friends that are otherwise avoidable.
In many sexting cases, teens have been convicted of felony charges for the production, possession or distribution of child pornography or pornography even if the person is over 18. [25] X Research source Make sure your teen is aware that any person involved in sexting with her may be legally culpable for any images sent or received. This also includes you as the owner of the device. [26] X Research source
Talk to your teen about the ways in which any person with whom she shares the photos could circulate or post what she thought was an innocent photo on the Internet. Tell her this could hurt and make her feel violated knowing that many people have seen the most intimate side of her. [28] X Research source Tell her that sexting and possible circulation could severely damage her reputation or prevent her from getting a job or even getting into the college of her choice. Advise your teen that if he is convicted of a sex crime, that his name may end up on the sexual offender registry for the rest of his life. [29] X Research source Make your teen aware that sexting could also result in expulsion from school, sports teams, or other activities in which she participates. [30] X Research source
You can forbid your teen from attending school activities or going out with friends, especially if they were involved in any sexting. Keep the consequences commensurate with the infraction. For example, if your teen sent suggestive photos that don’t contain nudity, you could simply place restrictions on the phone. However, if the images border on pornographic, you may want to confiscate the phone altogether and ground her. Make sure your teen understands why you’ve imposed the consequences you have and ways in which she can rebuild your trust.
