What happened? Who was involved? Where and when did it happen? What else was going on? How did you feel?
Keep in mind that you can’t forget the existence of your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend, but you can forget particular dates, events, or sense memories. For example, you might be able to forget the smell of a perfume, your first date, or something that your ex said to you. If you find yourself dwelling on traumatic experiences, list the people who harassed you, the specific locations that caused you grief, and other sensory details like the smell of the lunchroom, the locker room, or the gym.
In your mind, picture a part of the memory that you want to forget. Try to imagine this detail like a picture. Then, imagine that you are setting that picture on fire. [2] X Research source Imagine the edges of the photo turning brown and curling up, then turning black and crumbling away. Imagine the fire burning your mental memory picture until the picture is gone. You could also try using another image in place of the actual memory. For example, you could imagine your bully as a Honda Civic sinking into a pond or as a freight train slowly crashing into a wall. This may not work for some people, as old memories never truly leave the brain.
For example, you may want to get rid of anything that reminds you of your ex, including photographs and gifts your ex gave you. Do a scan of all of your senses when you’re trying to figure out what’s triggering a memory. Anything can trigger memory—it might be the light at a certain time a day, a phrase someone else used to say, or a certain smell, for instance. [4] X Expert Source Allison Broennimann, PhDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 11 December 2020.
Keep in mind that not everyone can be hypnotized, so it might not work for you. For those who can be hypnotized, there is also the chance that the effects will only last a short time. [6] X Research source
Do something that makes you happy while thinking about a bad memory. For example, you could reflect on the embarrassment you felt when you broke up with your partner while listening to soothing music. Or, take a comfortable bath with scented candles while thinking about a time that you lost your job. If positive association does not seem help, then you can try also listening to loud white noise to drown out painful memories. Consider surrounding yourself with radios all turned to static, or other white noise generators while meditating on the painful memories.
take up a new hobby read a new book watch a movie find a new job make some new friends
For example, if you want to forget a trip you took to San Francisco, consider making another trip to San Francisco or take a trip to somewhere near there. Visit Berkley, Oakland, or Palo Alto. During your trip, buy new t-shirts, take new beach photos, and check out new restaurants. If your ex’s cologne is stuck in your mind, head to the fragrance counter. Smell every single kind of men’s cologne you can, clogging your mind with new scents and different kinds of fragrance. Go on dates. If you are bothered by memories of an ex, maybe going on a date will help you to move on and make some new good memories.
