If you notice your tastes changing or that you’re surprised in who you’re attracted to, accept these changes and don’t fight against them.
Don’t immediately shrug off the attraction you feel. Be open to exploring.
For example, if you’ve been drawn to powerful men in the past yet it’s consistently ended badly, you may have learned to empower yourself. Now, you might want a man who is more balanced with you. Give yourself some credit for the growth you have made.
For example, notice if they’re patient and calm, even if you don’t feel patient and calm.
Attraction can happen on many fronts. If you’re less physically attracted to someone yet still feel attraction toward them, it might be their charisma, intellect, or relatability.
If you’re surprised by your attraction to someone, see where it goes. It might lead to more attraction to them overall.
For example, you may have dated materialistic people who had fancy cars. If you find someone new who doesn’t have fancy cars but spends lots of money on their appearance and clothes, you still like a materialistic person, it just looks different.
For example, if you’re an alcoholic, you might be attracted to other people who also drink in excess, even if they are very different from you. Notice if your attraction is based on something that might be harmful to you.
Don’t involve yourself with someone you consider dangerous or violent.
Therapy can help you learn more about yourself and your patterns. Then, you can begin to create more positive patterns for your life.
If you want a fling and someone is available, then you might want to go for it. However, if you want a committed relationship and the person wants a fling, this ultimately does not align with what you want.
Give yourself some time to adjust. Dating someone entirely new might feel uncomfortable at first, but give it a real chance to see if it might work well.
If you’re unsure about dating someone, don’t promise them commitments. Ask for more time in defining the relationship until you know what you want.
