Having trouble understanding how another person is feeling (e. g. wondering if they are too sleepy to talk or not) Being told that your behavior was inappropriate, awkward, strange, or impolite[1] X Expert Source George Sachs, PsyDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 9 October 2020. Not realizing that someone is bored of talking and wants to do something else Frequently feeling mystified by other people’s behavior Having trouble making eye contact with others[2] X Expert Source George Sachs, PsyDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 9 October 2020. Overthinking social interactions for fear you’ll slip up without realizing it
Autistic people might have trouble figuring out what someone’s opinion on something is. Detecting sarcasm and lies can be hard, because autistic people may not realize when someone’s thoughts are different from what they’re verbalizing. Autistic people may not always pick up on non-verbal hints. In extreme cases, autistic people have extreme difficulty with “social imagination” and cannot comprehend that other people have ideas that differ from theirs (“theory of mind”). [4] X Research source
Eating the same foods over and over Having precise morning and bedtime routines Making mistakes easily, such as skipping meals or pills, without a routine to ground you Feeling upset, nervous, or angry if an expected thing changes, such as a restaurant no longer offering the same food you always order
Flapping or clapping hands Rocking Hugging yourself tightly, squeezing your hands, or piling heavy blankets on yourself Tapping toes, pencils, fingers, etc. Crashing into things for fun Playing with hair Pacing, spinning, or jumping Looking at bright lights, intense colors, or moving GIFs Singing, humming, or listening to a song on repeat Smelling soaps or perfumes
Sight—Becoming overwhelmed by bright colors or moving objects, not noticing things like road signs, attraction to the sight of hustle and bustle Hearing—Covering ears or hiding from loud noises such as vacuum cleaners and crowded places, not noticing when people are talking to you, missing things that people say Smell—Feeling disturbed or nauseated by smells that don’t bother others, not noticing important smells like gasoline, loving strong scents and buying the strongest-smelling soaps and food available Taste—Preferring to eat only bland or “kid food,” eating extremely spicy and flavorful food while disliking anything bland, or disliking trying new foods Touch—Being bothered by certain fabrics or clothes tags, not noticing when people touch you lightly or you are injured, or constantly running your hands along everything Vestibular—Getting dizzy or sick in cars or on swing sets, or constantly running around and climbing things Proprioceptive—Constantly feeling uncomfortable sensations in your bones and organs, bumping into things, or not noticing when you are hungry or tired
A packed schedule can be a nightmare for autistic people. An autistic person may need a sparser schedule (e. g. taking fewer credit hours in college) to keep peace of mind. Sharing a bedroom with a roommate can be difficult for autistic people because they need a quiet space to retreat to when overwhelmed.
You may view yourself as sensitive, hot-tempered, and/or immature. How rarely or often you experience these will depend on how much stress is in your life and how many coping strategies you have to de-stress.
Trouble switching between activities Procrastination and difficulty starting a task Trouble with time management Forgetting things easily Forgetting to do things, from homework to laundry to brushing your teeth Losing things Disorganization and messiness (Is your room/desk a disaster?) Difficulty managing strong emotions Impulsivity
Talking about your special interest for long periods of time, and wanting to share it with others Being able to concentrate on your passion for hours; losing track of time Organizing information for fun, such as charts, tables, and spreadsheets Being able to write/say long and detailed explanations of nuances of your interest, all off of the top of your head, perhaps even quoting passages Feeling excitement and bliss from enjoying your interest Correcting people who are knowledgeable about the subject Being wary of talking about your interest, for fear that you’ll annoy people
Learning to speak later in life (or not at all) Difficulty speaking or losing the ability to speak, when overwhelmed Word-finding problems Long pauses in conversations so you can think Avoiding difficult conversations because you aren’t sure you can express yourself Struggling to understand speech when the acoustics are different, such as in an auditorium or from a movie without subtitles Not remembering spoken information, especially longer lists Needing extra time to process speech (e. g. not reacting in time to commands like “Catch!”)
Not catching sarcasm or exaggeration, or being confused when others are not Misunderstanding figurative language, such as thinking “wrap it up” means “wrap up the package” when the speaker meant “I want you to finish up. " Not picking up on subtext, such as when “I don’t know if I have enough money” actually means “please pay for my food. " Making literal jokes for the amusement of others, such as slapping the pavement when told, “it’s time to hit the road. "
Force or fake eye contact even though it’s uncomfortable Suppress stimming or redirecting to subtler stims (like leg bouncing instead of hand flapping) Fake a smile Avoid talking about their interests Practice scripts and expressions to use in conversation Study how to behave “appropriately” in different situations
Not every autistic child has each of these facial features. [27] X Research source You may only have a few. Unusual airways (double branching of the bronchi) were also found in autistic people. The autistic people’s lungs were completely typical, until the double branching at the end of the tubes. [28] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
Some professional questionnaires are available online. [29] X Research source
The DSM-5 uses clinical language that may be hard to understand. Autistic writers have written examples that help translate it to everyday life. [30] X Research source [31] X Research source
Avoid toxic and negative autism organizations. Some autism-related groups say terrible things about autistic people, and may push pseudoscience. [33] X Trustworthy Source Austistic Self Advocacy Network Nonprofit organization run by and for individuals on the autism spectrum that empowers autistic people through education and public advocacy Go to source [34] X Research source Autism Speaks is a prominent example of an organization that uses disaster rhetoric. Look for organizations that provide a more balanced point of view, and empower autistic voices instead of excluding them.
Remember that every autistic person is different. A therapy type that is useful to someone else may not be useful to you, and a therapy that someone else found unhelpful may help you. Be careful: scammers often target autistics and their families with fake therapies that may waste your money or even cause harm. Some therapies, notably ABA, may involve cruel methods or goals that focus on training you to act “normal” instead of helping you be healthy and happy.
Autism can come with sensory processing disorders, anxiety disorders, depression, epilepsy, gastrointestinal issues, ADHD, sleep disorders, and other conditions. Autism can be confused with conditions like sensory processing disorder, ADHD, social anxiety, schizoid personality disorder, complex PTSD, reactive attachment disorder, selective mutism, nonverbal learning disability, and others.
The most popular myth about autism causes is that vaccines cause autism, which has been disproven by over a dozen studies. [37] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source [38] X Research source [39] X Research source [40] X Research source This hoax was engineered by a single researcher who faked data and was hiding financial conflicts of interest. His work has been thoroughly disproven since, and he has lost his license for malpractice. [41] X Trustworthy Source Immunization Action Coalition Nonprofit organization focused on promoting the use of vaccines by distributing information about vaccines and the diseases they prevent. Go to source Reported rates of autism likely aren’t increasing because more autistic people are being born. [42] X Research source Experts are becoming better at identifying autism, especially in girls and people of color (who have been historically overlooked[43] X Research source ). Autistic children become autistic adults. Stories of people who “recover” from autism either feature people who have learned to hide their autistic traits (and may suffer mental health problems as a result), or who were never autistic in the first place.
Autistic people may have a strong desire to help people, especially through concrete means such as organizing or giving them items they need. For example, an autistic person may be quick to offer tissues and a comfort object if they see someone crying. [45] X Research source Some autistic people experience intense affective (emotional) empathy, sometimes to the point that it is painful. [46] X Research source Experiences with empathy may vary with the presence of alexithymia,[47] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source [48] X Research source a condition that impacts someone’s emotional understanding.
Rather than thinking “outside the box,” autistic people do not see the box at all. [49] X Research source Thus, they may not understand what is expected in social situations. This can result in a lot of guesswork. Some everyday situations can be uncomfortable or overwhelming for autistic people. This can make socializing more difficult. In this case, it’s not any person who needs to change, but the environment.
When an autistic person brings up their diagnosis during a misunderstanding, it’s usually because they want you to know they’re trying hard, not because they want to escape consequences. Usually, people who complain about autistic people “using it as an excuse” either met one bad person, or are upset about autistic people showing signs of their disability. This isn’t helpful or kind.
When autistic children do lash out, it is usually in reaction to provocation. They are less likely to initiate violence than non-autistic children are. [52] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source The average autistic person is very unlikely to hurt anyone and would probably be very upset if they accidentally did so.
It causes bodily harm or pain. Head-banging, biting oneself, or hitting oneself, are all bad things. These can be replaced by a harmless stim, such as head-shaking and biting chewy bracelets. It violates someone’s personal space. For example, playing with someone else’s hair without their permission is a bad idea. Autistic or not, people need to respect others’ personal space. It prevents people from working. It’s good to be quiet in places where people work, such as schools, offices, and libraries. If people are trying to focus, it’s good to stim subtly, or go to a place where quiet isn’t necessary.
Some organizations use gloom-and-doom scare tactics as a way to raise more money. Don’t let it fool you.
See if they have any videos from your childhood that you could watch. Look for stimming and other signs of autism in children. [54] X Research source Consider late childhood and teen milestones too, like learning to swim, ride a bike, cook, clean a bathroom, do laundry, and drive.
They may point out things that you didn’t realize about yourself. Keep in mind that no one understands what’s going on inside your head. They do not see all the adjustments you make to appear more “normal,” and thus might not realize that your brain works differently. Some autistic people can make friends and interact with people without anyone realizing that they are autistic.
