When you show her respect and appreciate how hard it was to approach you, you let her keep her dignity even in the face of rejection. Say something like, “I’m flattered that you are interested in me. I appreciate your bravery in telling me how you feel. ”
This is all about keeping it friendly and not hurting her feelings. Don’t say, “You’re not pretty enough for me to be attracted to you. ” It’s demeaning and makes you look bad. Say something like, “It’s been fun getting to know you, but I’m not looking for a relationship. ” Or, “I’m still trying to figure out exactly what I want in a girl, so please don’t take it personally. ”
Even when it seems cruel, this is better than making her think you are interested for a long time and then telling her that you aren’t. Say, “I’m sorry if it feels like I haven’t given you a chance, but I don’t want to pursue this relationship any further. ”
An example of what not to say is, “Thanks for asking. I’m not sure right now, but maybe it will work out at some point. ” This leaves it open that you might be interested. Say something like, “It feels good that you’re interested in me, but honestly I don’t feel the same. Thanks for asking, but I have to say no thanks to your offer. ”
Don’t say, “I don’t think I want to date right now. I’ve just started this new job and I know it’s going to keep me busy. ” This implies that later on you’d be free to engage in a relationship. For example, if a friend asks you on a date, don’t say, “I don’t like to date friends. ” She may try to convince you. Simply say, “I’m going to have to pass. Thanks for the offer. ”
For example, you meet a girl at a friend’s party and she asks you out on a date for the next weekend. Don’t say, “I don’t know about a date, but some of us are hanging out at the lake if you want to join. ” If you chat with a girl at a bar, say, “It’s been fun talking to you, but I’m not interested in pursuing something beyond this conversation. ”
Say, “Hey when we were at the bar the other day, who was the hot girl in the blue dress that was with you?” Essentially hitting on her friend might drive her away. Another way to do this is by saying, “I’ve actually been talking to this girl Lucy for about a week. It’s crazy how much we have in common. ” Causing jealousy can be a useful rejection tool.
Say, “You know, I’ve been meaning to introduce you to my friend Derek. He’s always talking about fitness stuff just like you. You two ought to go out sometime. ”
She may keep contacting you for a while, but commit to ignoring her and she will most likely leave you alone. This is a rude approach, but it’s often highly effective.
Make sure you realize how difficult this will be. She might get angry, insult you, or show you she’s disgusted with you. It’s not going to be pleasant most times. People will see this as rude and unacceptable. Make sure that this is your last resort. Try to let her down easy with other methods before giving her the silent treatment.
