Remember things from your day that made you laugh to share with your partner when you get home. Find a TV show that makes both of you laugh and have a standing date to watch it together.
“I love you. ” “I admire you. ” “I miss you. ” “I’m sorry things are going badly today. Is there any way I can help?” “I can’t wait to see you. ” “I hate to see you like this. Can I do anything?”
Go out dancing. Host a party. Hit the beach. Go ice skating. Visit hot springs. Do karaoke. Take a cooking class together.
If you and your partner appreciate movies, plan a special movie night for the two of you, with your favorite snack foods. Surprise your partner with a small gift, such as flowers or a hobby-related item.
Start a book club for just the two of you. Learn something new about each other by asking “how” and “what” questions. [5] X Research source For instance, “What was middle school like for you?” or “How was it for you when you moved?” Use open-ended questions that allow easy, natural conversation. Then, truly listen and connect to your mate’s feelings once again. Don’t criticize your partner for not talking to you. Instead, do something positive like inviting your partner to tell you about his or her day over dinner, a cup of coffee, or a glass of wine. Try saying something like, “I’d really like to know about your day. Let’s sit down and you can tell me all about it. ”[6] X Research source
Be specific. Instead of saying “You look nice,” say something like, “I love the way that dress shows off your curves” or “I love the way you look in that shirt. ” Rather than saying, “You are so smart”, say, “I admire how intellectual you are and the way you discuss issues so genuinely. ”
For example, you and your partner might have bonded over a shared interest in running, a common faith, or a shared desire to help others. Make a list of all of the things that made you fall in love with your partner and ask your partner to do the same. Then, you can sit down and share lists and reconnect by reliving the beginning of your relationship.
Engage in hand holding and feel free to embrace for long periods of time, especially if either needs to destress.
If you fall asleep to TV, consider taking the TV, laptop, and other electronics out of the bedroom. Create a sense of intimacy by agreeing to disengage with technology while together in the bedroom.
Remember to only send texts that you are comfortable with; never feel pressured to send anything, even to your partner.
If you’ve been hurt in the past, heal those wounds and validate your worth, knowing that you are deserving of giving and receiving love. Instead of avoiding sexual intimacy because you’re self-conscious about your body, learn to accept yourself as you are. If you choose to make changes to your body (such as losing weight), recognize that being your ideal weight may not change your insecurity and that it’s up to you to feel comfortable in your own skin.
There’s nothing wrong with going to counseling, and it can be immensely helpful in finding ways to relate to each other and grow closer emotionally.
Take a girls’ or guys’ night out every once in a while, or take a spa weekend away to unwind. Being apart temporarily often sparks up the relationship, raising the anticipation and excitement of being reunited. Don’t drop your activities and hobbies when you’re in a relationship. Continue to paint, dance, draw, or go to the gym, even if your partner doesn’t participate.
You can go backpacking or camping to enjoy the great outdoors or plan a ritzy vacation away at a high class resort. International travel can be an exciting experience for the two of you! If you have kids, try to at least take one kid-free vacation every year. [15] X Research source
You can practice reflective listening by saying, “I hear you saying that things are difficult between you and your parents” or, “It sounds like you’re feeling really stressed about work. ”
Manage your time to avoid the stress caused by rushing to meet a deadline. Take care of tasks as they come up rather than letting them pile up, and use a planner to keep track of obligations. Spend more time doing things that you enjoy. Life can’t be all work and no play, so make it a point to devote at least one day each week to doing what you love.
Train for a sporting event together such as a triathlon. Learn a new language together, then visit a country where it’s spoken. Build something like a boat, a shed, or a garden.
Try rock climbing, skydiving or paragliding. Go on a backpacking trip. Take a wild and native foods cooking class.
Try to engage in a spiritual practice together. If you and your partner share a spiritual belief, then you could attend services together. If not, then perhaps you can explore spiritual beliefs together. Engaging in a spiritual practice may help to reignite the spark between you and your partner. [20] X Research source Consider volunteer work. Volunteering with your partner may also help you to get out of yourselves and bond over the experience of helping others. Try volunteering at a local food bank or animal shelter. Work together to raise money for charity. You and your partner might also be able to change your focus by working towards a charity’s financial goals. Consider helping out with a telethon or run a charity 5K with your partner.
