Consider the location of the event and if you’ll have to travel. For example, if someone invites you to an out-of-town wedding, you may need to buy airplane tickets to get there. This could be costly. Plan to make sure you don’t have any other events that time and day. Talk to your partner and other members of your family to make sure they are available. You may wind up declining for some members of your family and accepting for others. [1] X Research source

Is it an informal event. For example, is the occasion a BBQ that your neighbor is having for no reason and sent out an informal email about? This type of event may merit an informal tone in your reply and you may have less time to respond. Is it a formal event. Events like weddings, birthday parties, Bar or Bat Mitzvahs require you to respond in a formal tone just as you were invited. [2] X Research source

Read the invitation for a “RSVP by” date. This date is not a suggestion. Make sure you RSVP by the date. Respond as quickly as you can. While the person who invited you may have given you a month or two to respond, this doesn’t mean you should take that entire window of time. Instead, you should respond as soon as you’ve made a concrete decision about whether you will attend. [4] X Research source

For formal events, you should use a formal tone. For example, write “Roger and Anne Decline Your Invitation for the Ball and Banquet on May 11. ” For informal events, like your neighbor’s BBQ, you can write “Unable to make it to your BBQ on the 11th. ”[5] X Research source

Choose salutations that might include “Dear,” “To,” or “My good friend,” An informal event requires a simple addressing to the person who emailed you. For example, “Dear John and Marcy,”. [6] X Research source

A more informal event merits an informal reply, such as: “We really appreciate the invitation to your BBQ, Tom, but we’ll be out of town that day. ” A formal event merits a more formal tone. For example: ”The Higginson family accepts your invitation to Josh and Belinda’s wedding on the 5th of November 2019. ” Another example is: ”John and Sarah Appleby happily accept your invitation to Marta Rodriguez’s Quinceanera. ” A formal decline might look like: “The Parker family will be unable to make it to Josh and Belinda’s wedding on the 5th of November, 2019. ”[7] X Research source

Pick a formal salutation. For example, pick from “Sincerely yours,” “Yours truly,” “Best wishes,” or “Best regards. ” Pick an informal salutation such as “Yours,” “Best,” “Regards,” or “Sincerely,” Choose a sign-off that is appropriate for whether you are declining or accepting. For example, pick “With regrets,” or “Thank you. ” Sign your name after your ending phrase. For more informal events, feel free to sign your first name along with the first names of anyone else who was invited. For more formal events, sign the first names of everyone invited and last name after the last person’s name. In some circumstances, such as those in which you are very familiar with the person, you may sign “The Smith Family. ”[8] X Research source

There is no need to email the actual person if you receive one of these emails. Once you’ve accepted or declined the invitation, the information will be sent to the third-party mailer and forwarded to the person who planned the event. Automated third-party RSVP service emails are often used for semi-formal events like birthday parties, 4th of July gatherings, and more.

The return receipt may be in different locations depending on the email service you are using. Some email services may not offer this option.

If you accidently accepted an automated – button-based – RSVP email, you should email the person directly to correct your mistake. If you need to decline an invitation you originally accepted, let them know. For instance, send them an email under the subject “Changing my RSVP” and write something like “Due to unforeseen events, Sarah and I will be unable to make it to your 20th anniversary party on the 14th. We apologize for the change and hope to see you soon. ” If you need to accept an invitation you already declined, tell the person. For example, email them under the subject heading “Changing my RSVP” and write “I would love to attend your event, if you still have the availability to host more guests. ” RSVP changes should be done as soon as you can. Informal events may be changed within several days of the event, however, changes to RSVPs in formal events (like weddings) should be done at least a month in advance. [10] X Research source