If your ex’s phone number was saved on your cellphone, delete his/her contact information and delete any previous text message conversations or phone call records on your phone. Erase, blot out, or discard any physical copies you’ve written down of your ex’s phone number (like from an address book, for example). Consider blocking your ex from contacting you on your cellphone. Generally this is done by going into settings, clicking on privacy, and blocking the number of your ex, though the exact method will vary depending on the type of phone you have. Turn off your phone any time you plan on drinking alcohol (if you meet legal drinking age) so that you do not text or call your ex in a moment of weakness.
Unfriending/unfollowing your ex on social media will help remove temptation to contact that individual. It can also provide you with space and privacy while you heal from the breakup. Remember that if you remain friends on social media, you’ll have to see whom that individual is in a relationship with in the future. You’ll also be generally reminded of your time together, which may create feelings of longing. Remember that you can always send your ex a friend request or follow him/her in the future, once you’ve gotten over the breakup. If you’re feeling vulnerable and may try to contact your ex, though, it’s best to cut that individual out altogether for the time being.
Let your friends know what you’re doing and why. If you don’t communicate with them, they may worry that you’ve decided not to be friends with them as individuals. If your mutual friends bring up your ex around you, ask them to stop doing so, at least until you’ve healed from the breakup. Avoid any situations or social events where your ex may be present. For example, if your mutual friends host a party or invite you to an event, ask them in advance whether your ex will be there.
It’s okay to feel pain and sadness - these feelings are normal. But dwelling on those feelings or convincing yourself that you’ve lost your “one true love” will only delay your healing. Recognize that it’s okay to be alone for a while. You can find other exciting ways to fill your time, and once you’ve taken time for yourself you’ll be ready to begin an even better relationship with someone new. [5] X Research source If you’re still thinking fondly about your ex or hoping for some type of reconnection, you haven’t found closure yet. It’s vital that you avoid contacting, seeing, or even accidentally running into your ex during this time in order to heal and move on.
Reach out to friends and family members, even if you haven’t seen them or heard from them in a while. It’s okay if you have to initiate the planning; the important thing is not to be alone. Try taking up a new hobby or enrolling in a class, and ask a friend to try it out with you. This can be a great distraction from your feelings and a good bonding experience between you and your friend.
Box up anything that reminds you of the other person. Whether it’s photographs, gifts, or belongings that he/she left behind, it’s best to keep them out of sight. If you can’t keep these sentimental reminders in your home without dwelling on your ex or feeling tempted to contact him/her, throw them in the trash. Just be sure to arrange for a mutual friend to return any belongings that your ex may want back before you throw anything out.
If you shared a house or apartment, move out and find a new place in a different neighborhood. If you work together or used to work together, consider looking for a new job. If you don’t want to leave your job but you still work together and share space, ask your boss if you can change desks to be farther away from one another. Find other ways to change up your routine and your physical surroundings. Do whatever you can to make subtle changes in your life and erase all reminders of your ex.
Toxic people who have hurt you and may continue to do so in the future should be cut out of your life. [11] X Research source This is best for your getting over that ex as well as for your general mental health and wellbeing.
If you’re having trouble moving on, make sure you cut off all ties completely and at once. Any time you catch yourself thinking about your ex, make a point of doing something fun and distracting. Go out with friends, watch TV, or find other ways to snap out of that mindset.
Most people feel sad, lonely, or hurt/betrayed in the wake of a breakup. This is normal, and these feelings will pass with time. There is no universal waiting period for getting over a relationship. For some people it can happen in a week or two, while for others it may take months to get over an ex. If you still feel any kind of longing or resentment towards your ex, not enough time has passed. Once you can think about your ex and not miss him/her or get angry about the breakup, you may be ready to consider transitioning to a friendship. If this doesn’t happen, though, you may need to cut your losses and move on without your ex in your life.
