Make a list of things, people, feelings and activities that are important to you. This will help you identify what you really like and need in your life. Try out different activities. This will give you a chance to see what you like and what you don’t like. [2] X Research source Try writing in a journal. Pretend that you’re having a conversation with your 99-year-old self and you’re asking for advice on what to focus on in your life. You can also start with the writing prompt, “What do I want to avoid writing about?” This will start an honest conversation with yourself. [3] X Research source Spend time with yourself by pretending you’re dating yourself. Try out a new restaurant that’s exactly what you’d like to do. [4] X Research source This will give you a chance to connect with your own feelings and opinions.
Stop saying you’ll love yourself if only you lost twenty pounds, and start loving the person you are right here, right now.
Start by maintaining positive body language and good posture, smiling more, and thinking at least three good thoughts about yourself each hour. If someone compliments you, accept their statement by saying, “Thank you. ”
For example, if you applied to a job you really want, don’t say, “There’s no chance I’ll get it. There are so many more qualified applicants. " Instead, say, “It would be so exciting to get that job. Even if I don’t get asked for an interview, I’m still proud of myself for applying. "
It’s okay to ask other people for advice, and this can actually help you gain a more balanced perspective, but you shouldn’t spend your time doubting yourself, thinking that what you’ve done is all wrong, and wishing that you had done something else.
Your boyfriend might say that you could have been a better listener when he really needed you, or your boss might say that your report could have been written more carefully, If someone is being mean or trying to hurt you, then throw that feedback out the window. Sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference between someone who tells you something that is true in a harsh way and someone who tells you something mean in a “nice” way. Evaluate this criticism honestly and carefully.
If you’re always letting people change your mind or make you rethink your decisions, then people will think that you don’t have strong convictions. Once you find things you really believe in, it’ll be harder to let all of the negative people in your life really get to you.
Don’t steal from yourself, such as recklessly putting everything on credit; you’re essentially taking money from your future self, because you’ll have to pay up eventually. Be honest with yourself instead of being in denial about what you really want. Think for yourself by developing your own sources of knowledge and doing research, instead of just following the opinions of others.
This doesn’t mean that going to the gym and looking amazing will automatically lead you to have high self-respect. But it does mean that if you don’t put any time or care into your appearance, that you’ll start to lose respect for who you are.
Make a plan to make some headway in these departments, and soon, you’ll be on your way to having more respect for yourself. Make a list of areas you’d like to improve. Take note when you make improvements, however small. It’s important to write down your small and big victories. Of course, changing behaviors and the thoughts and feelings associated with those behaviors takes more than a day or two; it takes a big commitment and persistence. But taking the first steps to become a person that you respect more will make you feel more confident about who you are.
Improving yourself can mean taking a yoga class, volunteering, spending more time learning lessons from the elders you care about, learning to see multiple perspectives about a situation, reading the news, and striving to learn new things.
Be honest with people. Do not steal from, harm, or insult them. Listen to what they say, consider their opinion, and avoid interrupting them.
If someone continues to disrespect you, let him go. Nobody said it was easy to turn your back on someone who has clearly disrespected you, if you care about that person a lot. But once you break the bad habit of associating with someone who makes you feel terrible, you’ll feel your self-respect soar. Learn to recognize a manipulative or controlling relationship. It can be hard to see when a person close to us is being disrespectful, especially if they’re subtle and sneaky and it’s been going on for a long time.
Don’t resort to yelling or insulting the other person. These types of actions root the conversation in judgment and are not productive. Identify your feelings. Be honest about what you are feeling, taking responsibility for these emotions. Clearly state what you need or want from the situation. You might say, “I need to have a better image of myself, and I don’t want to listen to negative comments about myself. ”
A good place to start is to figure out what you can control and what you can’t control. For example, you can’t control the actions of other people (you can influence them, but not control them), and you can’t control the weather. But you can control how you react to people even in bad situations, and you can control how you decide to feel. You can also take actions to improve the way you are handling different relationship situations, such as learning to be more assertive, and learning about healthy boundaries, how to enforce them, and how to stick to them. This will help you learn healthy behavior patterns that will encourage people to treat you well and increase your self-respect.
Even if someone has done you unspeakable harm, you need to work on moving on from the experience and the person. You can’t let yourself wallow in anger and resentment forever. Forgiving others is a gift you give yourself, and an action you do for your own self-healing. It’s okay to be angry for a little while, but if you are angry too long, the anger will interfere with your life and your happiness. Realize that when people treat you badly, it’s because they don’t have people in their lives treating them well, so they could be worse off than you. So, forgive them for their mistakes and transgressions for yourself, and the person who will benefit most is you
The next time you have a negative thought about yourself, write it down instead of saying it aloud. If you say it aloud, you’ll be more likely to think it’s really true.
Try to maintain a consistent image of yourself. It will be hard for people to respect you as the smartest guy in class if you were dancing around with a lampshade on your head at a party the night before.
If you feel yourself getting angry, excuse yourself and go for a short walk, get some fresh air, or call someone who can help you feel grounded. You can also try meditation, writing in a journal, or talking it out with someone. [12] X Research source
If you learn to admit that you’re wrong, people will have much more respect for you and will be able to trust you more.
This is especially true for relationships. It will be close to impossible to have true self-respect if you’re dating someone who makes you feel worthless.
