When you stop seeing texts from a narcissist, you’ll feel a lot better. The chemicals in your brain that might have made you feel attached to the narcissist won’t be activated anymore, and you’ll feel more energized.
If you’d like to go from “low contact” to “no contact”, list why a narcissist shows up and how to remove them from your life. Maybe you’ve been running into them because they go to the same family gatherings. Consider scheduling different visits with your other relatives. Maybe you’ll need to skip some family reunions, file for divorce, or join a new club. That way, you will spend time apart from a narcissist and you’ll have less to talk about.
“Please text me after work. ” “I am available to talk on Tuesday. ” “I’ll reply if we just talk about the kids’ progress reports. ”
“I have screenshots of that conversation. ” “Four parents at the PTA meeting can confirm what I said. ” “I can describe three situations that show how patient I am. ”
“I really appreciate how helpful you’re being during this move. Can you please bring over my movie collection?” “I really value that you’ve been paying the child support on time. ” “You’re amazing at filing and organization. Would you mind bringing over those documents tomorrow?”
“I appreciate that you reached out. I’m actually doing fine! Be well!” “I’m really liking it in this new city. Everyone’s really nice. I just don’t have a lot of time to text now!” “The faculty at my school is great and really helpful. I’ve got a lot of projects I need to focus on. Take care!”
For example, if a narcissist brags about getting a great new job, you could say “I’m so happy for you. " Just make sure that you balance out the conversation by including yourself, too—there’s nothing wrong with tooting your own horn a little bit![8] X Expert Source Vernita Marsh, PhDLicensed Clinical Psychologist, Consultant, & Speaker Expert Interview. 7 April 2022. According to some studies, narcissists can develop empathy over time if they’re encouraged and shown understanding. [9] X Research source If you are going to text a narcissist back, make sure you have lots of friends to talk to later. Reply only when you have enough energy to engage.
Let a therapist go into greater detail about any traits they see in the person texting you. They’ll know how to discuss the texter’s personality and how it impacts others.
When you stop and ground yourself, any feelings of anger can fade. You can also visualize an image that makes you hopeful or happy. You might have plans to go to the beach on the weekend or have a fun wedding to attend.
It’ll be a lot easier to go “no contact” when you have a lot of other people to reach out to. Ask your friends if they’re ready to unpack the text. If they’re busy or have a lot going on, you can always reschedule a time to talk. If some friends need to talk later, keep following up with other people so you find the support you need.
A therapist trained in “addiction therapy” can help you remove a “trauma bond,” a chemical reaction that is triggered when a narcissist reaches out. [14] X Research source Talk therapy can also identify abuse like “gaslighting,” a form of manipulation that may make you question your beliefs. A therapist focuses on validating your experiences. Your sessions will mainly focus on talking about your self-worth and the happiness you deserve.
