Snide comments about your abilities Disparaging comments about something you love or enjoy, like your favorite movie Insults disguised as praise Comments that make you feel insignificant or inadequate
They accuse you of something out of nowhere, or bring up something from the past that’s already been resolved. They play the victim, claiming you always attack them or put down their ideas. They make a joke or sarcastic comment that attacks your weaknesses. They focus on negative possibilities or cast judgment on your decisions. They deliberately mischaracterize something you said or did.
This also sends the person the message that they’re not going to be able to control you or your emotional response. Your strength helps you take back control from them.
It’s also helpful to take a step back, especially if the two of you are standing pretty close. Give them a little room and signal that you’re not interested in an altercation. If your words don’t match your body language, the person will sense that they’ve gotten under your skin, so they’re likely to keep poking at you until you finally crack.
“I hear you. " “You could be right. " “I understand what you’re saying,” followed by repeating back what they said.
“I understand you disagree. Tell me what you would do instead. " “Do you see a better way to do things?” “I’m interested in how you would approach this. "
You might say something like, “Tell me why you’re attracted to that viewpoint. " If you’re curious about how they might apply their beliefs, you might say, “I’ve always been interested in that. Tell me what that means for you in your daily life. " This only works if you’re genuinely curious about where they’re coming from. If you actually have no interest, it’s not a good idea to get them started. Instead, you can just say, “That’s interesting. I’ll have to give that some thought. " Then change the subject.
You don’t have to go into detail. For example, you might say, “Wow, that was really hurtful. " You could also say, “That really hurt my feelings. " If they press you to explain and you don’t want to go into detail, you don’t have to. Just say something like, “Just hurt. That’s all. " You could also say, “I don’t feel like getting into it. "
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” is a good all-purpose response that includes a little humor. Say it with a happy, enthusiastic tone.
If there’s nothing in their comment that you can use, simply look off to the side as though you were suddenly reminded of something, then say, “Oh! I almost forgot to tell you,” followed by whatever you want. Don’t worry about it being obvious that you’re trying to change the subject. They’ll get the message that you don’t care to respond to their baiting and would rather talk about something else.
For example, if your aunt says, “Congratulations, it’s about time you got a real job,” you could simply say, “Thanks, I’m looking forward to it!” There’s no need to defend your previous work. You might also say, “Thanks, I appreciate your perspective on that. " Then, just let the topic go or change the subject. [11] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
If it feels awkward to walk away without saying anything at all, you might say, “And with that, I have to get going. " You could also say, “I don’t want to go down that road. Have a lovely day. "
If someone’s baiting you online, block their account so you won’t see them anymore. If they’re being abusive on social media, you can also report their account to the platform. Remember that you never have to face these situations alone. If the person is bothering you, it’s likely they’re bothering others as well. They’ll continue to do so until someone stands up to them and tells them that what they’re doing is not okay.
