Striking up a normal conversation as if nothing is unusual is one way to start. Another way to start is by addressing the long absence and expressing regret.
Try to keep your message lighthearted but sincere. For instance, “Hey. . . time has flown by and its been like, years since we talked. . . but I miss you!” Consider writing your message down or taking notes in advance.
In some relationships, it is easy to reconnect quickly. The absence will be water under the bridge. In other relationships, it may take more time. Particularly if the parting was acrimonious.
If after several meetings you still feel like you are the one taking all the initiative, you may be smothering them. Slow down.
Romantic entanglement. Either between the friend you fell out of touch with, or over a mutual acquaintance. Distance. Separating by moving away for work or college causes many friendships to wither. A dispute. Perhaps there was a fight that you never reconciled over. A stressful situation. A shocking situation such as a death or illness in the family that happens to one friend can cause them to withdraw. Betrayal. Whether real or perceived, nothing hurts worse than feeling stabbed in the back by someone you trusted.
If you still insist that it is all their fault, you probably aren’t ready to move forward. If they get the sense that you blame them, they may have a hard time opening up to you again.
