Am I in danger if I stay at home? This question is important, as it will help you determine if you need to take action to get out of the home. If you feel the abuse at home is out of control and dangerous to your safety, there may not be anything you can do to change the environment and it may be time to get out. How will I survive? This question is useful especially for teens who are not sure where they will live or how they will survive once they run away from home. Creating an escape plan and taking steps to adjust once you leave the home will help you answer this question. Your escape plan should specify a safe place you can go to and numbers for runaway helplines where you can speak to professionals who can help you survive and thrive outside of the abusive home. Who can I count on to help me? This question can help you to identify any support lines you may have around you, from a trusted friend to a professional support person. [1] X Expert Source Sabrina Grover, LMSWLicensed Master Social Worker Expert Interview. 3 December 2021. You should also have at least one emergency contact that you can rely on in the event you end up in trouble while on your own.
This step can also be useful for adults who are trying to get out an abusive home environment, as confiding in a trusted friend or family member can help you to create an escape plan and feel confident enough to put it in motion.
There are usually professional counselors that answer the phones on these helplines. They may ask you to provide your name or they may allow you to stay anonymous. Their job is to listen to your issues at home and make suggestions on safe places to go or actions you can take to get out of a dangerous situation. You can also contact the National Runaway Safeline (1-800-RUNAWAY) or the National Runaway Switchboard (800-621-4000), a 24 hotline that can connect you to professional services for runaways in your area.
You should arrange your stay with a relative or family member beforehand. You can also stay with a close friend. It is not against the law for someone to take you in if they believe you are in danger. But if the adults in the safe place do anything illegal or lie to the authorities about your whereabouts, they can be charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Call the shelter near you and let them know when you plan to leave so they are aware of when you are going to be there.
If you are a teenager who is planning to run away from home, you can likely find a runaway shelter where you can stay there for free for a few nights. You may also be able to stay with a friend or a relative for free until you figure out where you are going to live permanently. If you are an adult trying to get out of an abusive home, you may have a joint bank account with your abusive spouse. Apply for a new bank account at a bank that is close to the safe place you will be heading to when you leave the home. You may need a new permanent address, such as the safe place address, to apply for a new bank account. Doing this will cut you off from your abusive spouse and make it harder for them to find you.
Make sure you also bring cash with you as you will need this to pay for items once you leave. Avoid using credit cards as these can be used to locate you.
You may use public transportation, such as a bus or a train, to get out of the abusive home and go to the safe place. Or, you may be able to arrange a pick up a few blocks away from the abusive home through the person who lives in the safe place, if they have a car. If you believe you are in danger and cannot get out of the home, despite your escape plan, call 911 or a domestic abuse helpline.
As a minor, you can prevent the police from taking you back to the abusive home if you explain your situation. Describe in detail the abuse you have suffered and let the police know that you are afraid to return to the home. The police will then take you to Child Protective Services. The CPS worker will then listen to the details of your situation and determine if your parents are providing a safe and stable environment for you as a minor. If they determine this is not the case, they can authorize your removal from the abusive home.
A professional counselor will talk to you at the runaway shelter and allow you to stay there if you are at least 12 years of age, you are mature enough to stay in the shelter, and it is clear you are in danger if you return home. Though the shelter staff may tell your parents where you are, your parents cannot simply take you from the shelter. Some shelters require parental permission to house runaways and some do not. Talk to the shelter about their rules. You can find out more information on runaway shelters through the National Runaway Safeline, 1-800-RUNAWAY. The safeline is open 24 hours a day and can refer you to professional support people in your area. [4] X Research source
You can also change your social security number so your abuser cannot use it to try to locate you. Call the social security office near you and explain you are a victim of domestic abuse. They will often let you change your social security number due to abuse circumstances. You may also want to consider hiring a lawyer, especially if you are going to have to fight for custody of your children or your assets.
