Think about your parents. Though it may not always seem like it, your parents love you deeply. They see themselves in you, and they want a better future for you than they want for themselves. Fights and disagreements happen with parents; their love for you never changes. Think about the rest of your family. Your brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, grandmothers and grandfathers—all of them have a relationship that’s deeper than just a friendship. It’s very possible that your family will feel hurt and responsible for you running away, even if they had nothing to do with it. Think about your friends. Your friends are the lifeblood of your social circle. They laugh with you, they make you feel better when you’re down, they sometimes even think of you like a brother or sister. Running away probably means leaving them behind. Think of other mentor figures. Maybe it’s a teacher; maybe it’s a friend of your mother’s. Many of us have mentors who look after us. They want to see us succeed and be safe. Your decision will undoubtedly have an effect on them.
However, if your parents or guardians have tried to hurt you, you should get away and this is perfectly legal - but you have to do it in the right way. Tell a teacher or other trusted adult or call the police. Make sure you have a place to stay for a night or two before you do this, so you don’t have to go anywhere weird. You may worry that foster care will be worse than being with your parents, even if they hurt you, but it is better to risk it. You may even be able to stay with another family member or friend if you work this out in advance. Even if you do run away in a state that doesn’t have laws against it, you could still find yourself in court. Over 30 states consider children who chronically run away from their homes “Child in Need of Supervision” or CHINS, a process which is designed to help children lead better lives. Still, minors who are in the CHINS process may face fines, suspended privileges, and mandatory drug screenings.
47% of runaway youth described having a significant problem with one or both of their parents. Is there another adult who might give you advice about how to work the problem out with your parents? If not, consider calling Child Protective Services. [1] X Research source [2] X Trustworthy Source Child Welfare Information Gateway Online portal managed by the U. S. Children’s Bureau providing resources related to childcare and abuse prevention Go to source More than 50% of runaway youth in shelters said that their parents told them to leave or knew they were leaving but didn’t care. If your parents ask you to leave or tell you they don’t care about you leaving, call or visit Child Protective Services. [3] X Trustworthy Source Child Welfare Information Gateway Online portal managed by the U. S. Children’s Bureau providing resources related to childcare and abuse prevention Go to source It’s not betraying your parents to want to find someone who cares about you. You deserve that. 80% of runaway and homeless girls reported physical and sexual abuse. If you are the victim of physical or sexual abuse, find an adult who you can confide in (it may be your parents, it may not be) and visit the police to file a report.
The pros: Possible freedom from neglect, abuse (verbal, physical, or sexual), and/or harassment. Opportunities to travel, see new places, and meet new people. Increased freedom and the possibility of maturity and personal growth, no matter how hard it gets. Development of self-reliance, a sense of being able to do things by, and entirely for, yourself. The cons: Increased likelihood of spending nights outdoors, on the streets, under bridges or overhangs, or even on top of roofs. Increased likelihood of depression, isolation, and powerlessness (32% of runaway youth have attempted suicide at some point in their lives. ) Increased likelihood of violence, drugs, disease, and prostitution on the streets. Increased likelihood of death or serious injury. Feeling like you have no one to talk to, like no one cares, or like the things you do don’t make a difference.
What will you do if you get sick? What will you do if you are caught? What will you eat? How will you maintain good hygiene? How will you stay off the streets and out of harm’s way? How will you earn enough money to survive?
Don’t bring your phone or any electronic devices. Even if you turn your location off, there are easy ways for people to track you. You can buy a very cheap phone with cash if you really need one.
If you have a credit card, take it, as it’s much harder to steal and use, and you can cancel it at any time. Be prepared for your parents to possibly cancel it, however, when they find out that you’ve run away. Don’t use it as your only source of money. Also, using a credit/debit card can give away your hiding place. The bank can track down your card, and see what stores and shops to which you’ve been. You need to be aware of these things and store your money wisely.
Keep it simple. You’ll want to remember it everywhere you go because word gets out quite fast in this world about anything, so you should probably keep your story the same all throughout your life as a runaway, just to avoid arousing suspicion. Avoid inconsistencies by thinking out the details ahead of time. If you are really serious about running away permanently, change your name. Have fun with it, but don’t choose anything too wacky that you wouldn’t name your kid it. Think about it, something common would probably be best because it’ll be harder to remember, and your main aim is not to become well-known. But, don’t use a name that’s only become well-known or used very recently. Try to pick out a name from the year you were born.
It’s not glamorous, but you can always go dumpster-diving at the back of large grocery stores. You’ll be seriously surprised about what people throw away. The more you dumpster-dive, the more your system will get used to food that’s past its prime. In the beginning, it might be quite uncomfortable, but it should get better.
If you just need a place to stay in order to pass the time, public libraries, popular stores, churches, college buildings, airports, and train stations are all possible options. These places are safe, while generally having enough people about to make it easy for you to go unnoticed. In the winter months, you may want to try to find a building with an elevator if you are in a downtown area. Try climbing the stairs next to an elevator shaft all the way to the top. You may find a room that is nice and warm, that not too many people go into. Stay away from the woods or the desert. These places are generally very rural, and make it easier for other people to victimize you. As romantic as it may seem, it’s really hard to make a living off of the land nowadays, especially if you know nothing about plant and animal species. Try to find places with other people around; they’re usually safer.
Choose the right location. Find a busy place where people walk, such as outside a mall area, a convenience store, or a place where people come out with change. Ask patrons for money after they come out of the store, not before. Alternatively, ask drivers for money on a busy intersection. Make sure you’re on the side where the driver’s seat is. Smile, and ask people for change politely and softly. You won’t get very much money if you look mean, frustrated, or unhappy. When someone does give you money, thank them with a smile and a friendly remark.
Use bathrooms in big grocery stores. There’s not much privacy, but there’s very little foot traffic. (Think about it: how often do you use the restroom in a grocery store?) You’ll probably be able to give yourself a nice little hand-bath here and use some of the free soap provided. Use generic sex-lube for shaving and straightening out hair. It sounds weird, but it works. Put a dab of lube on your skin and work it in gently with a bit of water. Shave up, being careful to wash the razor out immediately. If you need to straighten or tame your hair in the morning, a little bit works wonders, and it doesn’t look noticeable afterwards. Shower at public-swimming pools, as well as colleges and universities. If you pretend to be a student, colleges often won’t ask you to show your ID. This won’t work all the time, but it’s worth the try, especially if you trick a regular into believing you belong there.
Try to hitch rides with a nice lady, a family with several children, or a car with passengers. They will probably want to ask you where you are going, or what you are doing, so have a nice little lie handy. Do not tell them that you ran away from home, and say as little to them as possible. If a sketchy or scary looking person offers to give you a ride, ask them where they’re going first. When they answer, tell them you’re going to a different place, preferably far away. If they say that they can take you there, politely refuse and cut off communication after that. Wait for them to drive off.
Walk away from people who pose a threat to you. Stand upright and tall, and keep your composure, but don’t argue or aggravate them. Try to get to a public, well-lit area where there are a lot of people. There’s usually strength in numbers.
Prostitution is a common outcome of running away. Actually, a study showed that one in four of runaways, both boys and girls, were victims of trafficking or used sex to get things like food and shelter. [5] X Research source Because of the high chance of prostitution and also because of the poor sanitation conditions, runaways are significantly more likely to get HIV/AIDS. Be very careful.
