A mourner is usually considered a spouse, parent, sibling, or child of the deceased.
You should encourage the mourner to talk about the deceased if they want to. You can relate fond memories of the deceased or other positive topics, but do not bring up anything that would cause more grief for the mourner.
Some examples of things to avoid include “Everything happens for a reason” or “Time heals all wounds. ” There’s really no right thing to say to a mourner. So, putting the pressure on yourself to come up with the right thing to say is probably only going to be more stressful for you. Do your best to be present, as your presence is usually the best thing you can offer right now.
The traditional Condolence Declaration when leaving a house of mourning is “May the Almighty comfort you with all the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem. ”
Sitting Shiva is not simply a social call. The purpose of your visit is to show the mourner that you are concerned about their distress in this time of grief.
Don’t ring the doorbell; just walk in. Doors are usually left open during Shiva.
Mourners sit in low chairs, stools, or on the floor. Family and friends can sit in the regular chairs. Mourners typically don’t cut their hair, shower, or change their clothes during Shiva.
If you are a friend of a mourner, you should respect their grieving by not inviting them to parties during this period of shloshim.
The unveiling ceremony customarily includes a recitation of Psalms, a brief eulogy, removing the cloth from the headstone, a recitation of the El Maleh Rahamim prayer, and the Kaddish prayer (if at least ten people are present).
This ceremony should take place in a synagogue, if possible. At home, a Yahrzeit candle is lit on the anniversary of the deceased.
