You can say to yourself, “They’re probably just really busy. I shouldn’t take it personally if they can’t hang out right now. " You can even tell yourself, “I’m a good person and a good friend, no matter what anyone else thinks. "
You can say something like, “Hey, Anna! I haven’t heard from you in a while, and I was hoping we could catch up sometime. Are you interested in getting lunch together this week?” If the person turns you down, wait a week or two and try one more time before you assume they aren’t interested.
Perhaps you and your old friend grew up near a stable. You can say, “Hey, it’s been years since I’ve gone horseback riding. Why don’t you join me?"[2] X Research source
For example, if both of you are relatively adventurous, you might ask, “I heard about a trail in the area that was just renovated. Want to go for a hike on Saturday?” This activity can also offer the two of you a chance to talk and/or sort out your differences. Your friend might want to hang out in a different environment or do a different activity than you’re used to. Be open to their suggestions, and try out their ideas.
A group activity lowers the pressure that can be present in a one-on-one interaction. This is a smart route to take if you’re unsure about why the person is losing interest in you. You can tease out information without any unnecessary tension.
Don’t jump to conclusions. Your friend may just be busy. Act normal and see if the situation clears itself up. It will probably take several attempts and conversations before you can restore your friendship. Keep reaching out to them occasionally, but give them the time and space that they need.
You may want to think of a few topics to discuss ahead of time. This will help the conversation flow naturally. For example, you might discuss new hobbies, summer plans, favorite TV shows, or family news.
For instance, if you bonded with a friend over the fact that your kids went to the same school, you might lose touch with each other once your kids are at separate colleges. You may have to think about new ways of maintaining your relationship if the circumstances have changed. For example, you can have phone or video chat dates with each other if you live far apart.
For instance, maybe you can stay on good terms with this person and see them a few times a year, even if you’re not best friends anymore. Work on making some new friends to ease the sting of downgrading a close friend to an acquaintance. It’s okay to take a short break from the friendship so that you can come to terms with the change.
Say something like, “I’ve noticed that we don’t talk much anymore, and I was wondering what changed. Do you still want to be friends?” If the person tells you they want to end the friendship, accept it as gracefully as you can. You can’t force someone to be friends with you. If the person says they want to keep being friends, but they continue to ignore you, it may be best for you to move on and spend more time with other people.
Find a close friend or family member to talk to during this process. This can help you find support and feel less lonely during this time. Find someone who is not a mutual friend of your old friend and who can provide an unbiased opinion about the situation.
If your self-esteem has taken a hit, take some time for yourself to recover. Work on personal projects or develop a new skill to rebuild your confidence. Socialize with positive people who are openly loving and warm toward you to remind you that you are worthy of friendship.
If you want to get to know someone better, asking them questions about themselves and inviting them to get coffee with you is a good way to start. Just don’t ask anything too personal before you know them well.
If you realize that your friend is only coming back to you because they lost another friend or broke up with someone, you may want to consider turning down their friendship. Take a few months to think about the situation before deciding if that person is truly invested in the relationship again.
