You’re stressed about social interactions either 1-on-1 or in a group. You have a tendency to overthink what you say and analyze what you said. You feel awkward talking to people. You feel like you don’t know how to socialize anymore.
For instance, say something like, “I really love the colors in this painting, it’s just so soothing to look at. ” Or, “Have you tasted this incredible dip?”
Of course, if someone else has already introduced you, you can skip this step! This is also a good opportunity to bring up a shared connection. For example, “I think we were in Bio 101 together last semester,” or “I’m here with your cousin’s friend, Ellie. ”
For instance, say something like, “So, how do you know Ted?” or “When did you move out to Chicago?” Try to think of questions that start with who, what, where, when, why, or how. [3] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source If someone else asks you a question, answer it—then turn it back around to them. For instance, if someone asks you what you’re studying, you could say, “I’m finishing up my bachelor’s in health science. How about you?”
For instance, say something like, “Those glasses are awesome, I love the color!” or “Your presentation today was great, I really liked how you handled that question about Marlowe’s influence on Shakespeare. ” Avoid vague comments, like “Wow, you look nice!” Be careful about making any comments on someone’s body or physical appearance, since that can make people uncomfortable.
For instance, “Oh, you’re a Star Wars fan, too? Which trilogy is your favorite?”
In addition to avoiding anything controversial or heavy, be careful about getting too personal. For instance, try not to ask questions like, “So, are you guys planning to have kids?” or “That sounds like a cool job—how much money do you make doing that?”
Follow-up questions both show that you’re listening and help keep the conversation flowing. For instance, say something like, “Oh wow, that sounds like it must have been an amazing vacation! Do you have any plans to go back?”
If you get self-conscious about what your hands are doing when you talk, it may help to hold something, like a drink or a plate of food. But remember, it’s totally normal to make a lot of hand gestures when you talk—and doing so can make you seem more open, relaxed, and honest. [13] X Research source
On the other hand, if the other person is leaning in, or if they occasionally reach out to touch your arm or shoulder while you chat, it’s probably okay to move a little closer. In the U. S. , it’s a good rule of thumb to stay about 2 feet (0. 61 m) away from your conversation partner. [15] X Research source If you’re someplace where social distancing practices are in place, follow the guideline of staying about 6 feet (1. 8 m) apart.
Try not to rely on any one aspect of the person’s body language to tell you how they’re feeling. Instead, try to look at the bigger picture. For instance, if someone’s arms are crossed but they’re also smiling and leaning towards you, it could be that they’re just cold!
Introducing the person to someone else you know. For example, “Oh, have you met Lily? I think you two might have gone to the same high school. ” Excusing yourself to grab food or a drink. Telling them that you need to step away to return an important phone call. Circling back to something you talked about at the beginning of the conversation. For instance, “Thanks for the tip about that new laser tag place, I will totally check it out!”
Look for cues from the group to determine if it’s appropriate to join in. If their body language seems relaxed and open, or if you see them interacting with other onlookers in a friendly way, go for it. On the other hand, if they’re huddled closely and speaking in low voices, it may be best not to approach.
If you’re not feeling up to starting a conversation, just making eye contact and smiling is a good place to start. Not all practice socializing has to be face-to-face. You can also try chatting with others online. For instance, hop on a Discord server for your favorite game and have a conversation with some fellow fans!
Chances are, other people aren’t as focused on you as you think! They might not even notice if you do something awkward. [23] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
For instance, if you told a joke and someone got offended, just say “sorry” and leave it at that. Next time, you’ll know to avoid making that kind of joke!
