Try not to let yourself get worked up when you’re frustrated or the topic is something you’re passionate about. Becoming overly emotional can make it harder to get out what you’re trying to say.
Start by offering your input into casual conversations where you won’t feel as bashful about professing your opinion. For instance, you might start by making offhand observations like “Dinner was really great tonight, Mom” or “I don’t really care for this show. Could we watch something else?” Exchanges like these are unlikely to end in a challenge or argument. Talking to people that you’re already familiar with allows you to shut off self-critical thoughts and concentrate on your message.
If you develop a captivating speaking voice, it’s more likely that people will take what you have to say seriously. Being assertive is good. Being loud or overbearing is not. Know the difference to keep from alienating your listener.
If you have to, “fake it ‘til you make it. ” Pretend you’re more comfortable sharing an opinion than you are. Eventually, it won’t seem like such a big deal. Develop confident speaking skills. Look the person you’re talking to in the eye and use strong, active language. [5] X Expert Source Sandra PossingLife Coach Expert Interview. 15 July 2020. Avoid filler phrases like “um,” “like” and “you know?” These weaken your impact. [6] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
Ask yourself what’s the worst that could happen if you do speak up. Once you look closely at your reasons for keeping quiet, you’ll find that they begin to disappear.
Stick to your guns. It’s not always easy to muster up the courage to tell someone “you’re being selfish,” or “I don’t think what you’re doing is right. " If you feel a pressing urge to speak up about a certain issue, however, that probably means it’s important. Express your opinions without shame, but don’t shove them down anyone’s throat.
Making assertive statements and asking well thought out questions shows initiative. Even saying “I’m not sure I understood that last point. Could you explain it again?” shows that you’re engaged and making an effort to promote equal discussion. By the time you work up the nerve to speak, someone else might have already said what you were going to say.
Witnessing your confidence and willingness to boldly state your claims can inspire others to champion their own beliefs more freely.
Preface opinionated comments with phrases like “I think. . . ” or “it’s my belief that…” Be aware of how you present yourself in discussions on politics, religion and ethical issues, as these can easily breed conflict.
An action as small as vetoing an option for where to eat lunch can make you feel more empowered to speak. If you’re unsure whether a particular idea will be accepted, make it sound like you’re just brainstorming. Try something like “Do you think it would work better if we. . . " or “What if instead of going to the theater, we curl up and watch a movie on the couch?”
A scornful glance will never have the same effect as forcefully asking “What makes you think it’s acceptable to behave that way?” You can’t change the way things are until you first point out what’s wrong with them.
Resist the temptation to stoop to using insults in the midst of a heated argument. “I’m sorry, but I disagree” gets the same point across, but without the hostility. It’s much more likely that the person you’re talking to will listen and take you seriously if you’re able to keep a cool head. Think twice before saying anything that you know might offend or be taken the wrong way.
