Once you find out the guy’s name, use it frequently in the conversation. People like to hear their own name - it makes the conversation more personal and creates a sense of intimacy between you. Just be careful not to overdo it![2] X Expert Source Lynda JeanCertified Image Consultant Expert Interview. 17 November 2020. Say something like “Hi, I’ve noticed you around here and I just thought I’d come over and introduce myself. My name’s Kate, what’s yours?” Simple!
Commenting on the weather may seem like a mundane conversation starter, but it works nevertheless. Try saying something like “Beautiful day, huh? Don’t you just love the sunshine?” When starting a conversation with someone you don’t know, the point is to break the ice and open a line of communication first. Once you’ve done that you can move on to more interesting topics. If you’re sitting next to a cute guy on the train or an airplane, try sighing and muttering to yourself about the delay or bumpiness of the ride. If he’s interested, he’ll take this as his cue to respond in sympathetic agreement. Once you have his attention, you can take it from there!
If you’re struggling with a heavy stack of files or a bulky box, ask if he can help to lighten the load. If you just can’t seem to open the coffee jar or unscrew the cap of your water bottle, see if he’ll oblige. Make sure to smile and thank him sweetly after he helps you - everyone likes a little appreciation when they do a good deed. And he’ll be ready to jump at the opportunity to help next time round. This step also comes with a warning: don’t overdo it. You want a guy’s respect as well as his attention, so don’t play the damsel in distress too often or you’ll come across as helpless.
If you’re feeling forward, compliment him on his amazing eyes, his killer six-pack or his George Clooney smile. This will let him know that you find him physically attractive, which all guys love to hear. If you’re aiming to be a little less obvious, compliment him on his snappy suit, his funky band tee or his great-smelling cologne - letting him know that you think he has great taste. Compliment him on his performance at work or on the sports field, if you happen to be present at the time. Tell him he did a great job on the presentation or that he played really well. He’ll know that you were paying particular attention to him. Alternatively, you can compliment him on something a little less personal. If you run into him walking his dog, compliment the dog instead (earning you major guy points). Or tell him that you approve of his choice of sandwich at lunch. Anything that grabs your attention and gets him talking.
Phrase questions in such a way that he will be forced to think about the answer, or at least provide more than a monosyllabic response. Men can be a little dull at times, so try to help them along a little. He’ll soon realize that you’re more interested in him than in finding out what time it is. Try asking him if he has a pen you could borrow or if he watched the basketball game last night. At this point it’s just about grabbing his attention and getting the conversation going, so don’t worry too much about the topic.
For example, if you discover that you both like to watch football, ask him about his favorite team, who he thinks their best players are and whether they’ll make it to the playoffs this year. Once you get him going there’ll be no stopping him, and he’ll probably think you’re a pretty cool girl for being interested. Pick up on hints about his interests from his clothing, desk or accessories. If he’s wearing a band tee - bingo! He likes music. If he has a surfing picture set as his desktop background, that’s a pretty good indication he likes to ride the waves. Picking up on small details can help you to choose the right topic to get him going.
For example, avoid starting a conversation with “how are you?” which he’ll probably answer by reflex with a “fine” or a “good”. Instead try asking him “what did you do this weekend?” or “what do you think of the new boss?” which will force him to think about his answer and actually string a sentence together. Alternatively, you can try asking him an “either-or” question, to initiate a playful debate. Ask him whether he prefers “The Simpsons” or “Family Guy”, rock or hip-hop, burgers or hot dogs. Whatever he answers, gently tease him about it and soon you’ll both be laughing.
Even when you’re not talking, try to stay engaged in the conversation. Acknowledge things he says with a smile, nod or other appropriate facial expression or gesture. Being a good listener during your conversation does two things: it allows you to make a good impression, letting the guy know that you’re thoughtful and easy to talk to, while also giving you the chance to see whether you actually think this guy is worth your time. From the things the guy says, you’ll get a pretty good idea of his personality and you can think about whether you want to take the next step. This is important because - let’s face it - if you don’t find him interesting now, you won’t find him any more interesting on a date.
For example, ask him fun yet interesting questions like “If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would it be?” or “If your house were on fire, what three things would you save?” or “If you were a fictional character, who would you be?” These questions will hopefully make him smile and give you a little insight into his personality. Or you can get a little more serious and personal and ask him questions like “what is your biggest regret in life?” or “where do you see yourself in ten years?” Just to be clear, these are not the kind of questions that you ask to open a conversation or that you bring up completely out of the blue. If you do, he’ll probably think you’re just a teeny bit crazy. These questions are best reserved for when the initial awkwardness has passed, maybe after a couple of drinks.
Also try asking for the guy’s opinion or recommendation when it comes to an aspect of pop culture he considers himself an expert on. Guys love to show off their vast knowledge, especially to a rapt audience. For example, if he loves Woody Allen movies but you’ve never seen any, ask him which is the best one to start with. Feeling confident? Maybe you could suggest watching it together. Or if you can find something random that you’re just as knowledgeable about as he is, you’re in luck. Impress him with your love of obscure 70’s punk-rock bands or your readership of Franco-Belgian comic books. He might just think you’re The One.
If you feel that things really went well and you like this guy even more now, put yourself out there and suggest that the two of you go out for coffee or drinks after work sometime. If you feel too awkward to say it out loud, do like the girls in the movies and slip him your number on a scrap of paper. Right before you leave, you should look the guy straight in the eyes, flash him a smile and say “I really enjoyed talking to you, insert guy’s name here” It’s personal, it’s flirtatious and it’s so much more memorable than “see you later”.
