Try to make eye contact again after about 30 seconds. If the person makes eye contact with you again, this is a good sign that they notice you and want to interact with you. When making eye contact, keep your facial expression light and friendly, rather than straight and serious.
If you want to flirt with the person, smiling is a great way to get somebody’s attention. Try a flirty smile by being coy or cocking your head a bit.
Use appropriate spacing. If you’re too close, the person may feel like you’re invading their space. If you’re too far, you won’t be able to get their attention or hear what they say.
Notice if their hips or knees are pointed toward you as this is a good sign that they want to connect. If the person is staring out a window or turned away from you, don’t approach.
If they’re standing, stand near enough to them to be able to speak with them, but don’t get too close for comfort. If there’s a seat next to them, ask, “May I sit here?” Try not to be nervous. Many people are just as excited to chat with new people as you are.
For example, if the person gives a quick, “Thanks” and then goes back to their book, take the hint and move on. However, if they look up and appear like they want to talk, go ahead and engage in a discussion.
For example, ask a practical question, such as, “How do you get to downtown?” instead of “Does this bus stop at the city center?” If you notice they have a book with them and you know the author, say, “She’s a great author. What other books of hers have you read?” Once the conservation begins, you may find that it continues very naturally.
For example, say, “How are you handling the heat? It’s been a scorcher outside!”
For example, you can say, “Excuse me, I just wanted to tell you you have a beautiful smile” or, “You have great taste in music, I love your shirt!”
If you can, relate what you say to something about the other person. For example, say, “Your earrings are great. I also love to wear funky jewelry, like this ring I put on today. ” Don’t talk about yourself too much, however. If you say something about yourself and the person seems interested, ask a question. For example, say, “This is my first time on the train. Do you ride often or is this your first time, too?”
For example, ask about where they’re from and what they do for a living. You can also ask if the ride the bus or train frequently.
If they start to shut down, look away, or give short answers, wrap up the conversation and thank them for chatting. If they’re not very responsive, it is better to end the conversation than to continue. You don’t want to bother the other person if they don’t want to chat.
Say, “It’s been really nice getting to know you. I’d like to see you again. Can I have your number?” Make it clear whether your advances are friendly or flirtatious. If flirtatious, mention going on a date. If friendly, talk about becoming friends.
For example, put on your headphones or play on your phone.
