Make sure you have enough time for at least a few minutes of conversation. There are some down time periods that are too short for a conversation. An example of a bad time to talk to someone would be if class is about to start. This is probably not a great time to try to have a conversation because you will be interrupted and will feel silly that you tried to start a conversation at that time. Avoid trying to start a conversation in a line or during a passing period. Think about the way your schedule and your crushes’ schedule overlaps. Plan on starting a conversation when both of you are free. Are there any events that are coming up? Think about whether there are any dances, parties, or school events that are coming up that you can start a conversation with them at.
When you are talking to your friends, try to notice your tone of voice, the hand gestures you use, and the kind of expressions you use. When you are talking with your crush, try to be the same kind of natural and relaxed while you talk. Don’t be overly familiar with them as though you have a history you do not have. For example, you wouldn’t say “Hey dude. How’s it?”.
Awkward conversation can happen when you pretend like you know more about the person than you do in the same way that it can become awkward when you act like you don’t know anything about them at all when that is not true.
If you are going to a dance or somewhere you might be up close and personal with them, you can gargle with a mouth wash after you brush your teeth to freshen your breath. Avoid eating food that will make your breath smell like onions and garlic. Drink a glass of water, this will flush out any of the food and bacteria that make for bad breath. [4] X Research source
Don’t worry, the first few comments you make to your crush are not going to make or break the conversation. Getting the conversation started is more important. So don’t worry too much about being smooth, and focus instead on continuing conversation.
You don’t have to mention the fact that you are in a class together unless you aren’t sure that they know. If you want to remind them, do it without making a big deal out of it. Say “So in English class, how is your midterm paper coming together?” It is not weird that you know that you share a class. If they don’t know, you mentioning the class first will tip them off and they will probably apologize for not recognizing you.
You don’t want to ask them something too controversial. Stay away from any hot button topics like politics or religion. [7] X Research source
Avoid small talk or getting to know you questions. You don’t want to ask questions like “So where are you from?” because you will get an answer they have already used many times before. This kind of playful conversation helps you get more comfortable with one another.
Going for it is good because it will help you get over the barrier of initial contact. And remember, it isn’t very important how you start talking to them- the important part is continuing the conversation. Sometimes just going with your gut can bring out your most confident self.
For example, if they are excited to talk about the books, ask more questions/make connections related to the books. For example, “That is cool that you are reading that book. My favorite book by that author is ______. ” Or, if they don’t seem too excited about books, you can move onto something else more open ended. Say something like, “So what else are you up to this week?”. Avoid bringing up topics of conversation that show that you already know about your crushes’ interests because that might make you feel awkward. For example, if you know they play soccer, avoid bringing that up directly. Don’t say “So tell me about your soccer season. ” Instead, let the conversation get there naturally.
Avoid distractions. Don’t send a text or look at your phone while you talk. This will make it seem like you are disinterested and might keep you from really hearing what your crush is saying. Repeat the main idea of what your crush is saying. This will let them know that you are listening and will give them the chance to clarify anything. Repeat the most meaningful parts of what they are saying. For example, you can say “So are you saying that you are new to painting but it feels like you have been doing it forever?”. This will help them feel connected to you because you show that you understand important things about them. Avoid interrupting them in conversation. It is easy to get excited by what we want to say and interrupt during their turn in the conversation. But resist the temptation and wait until they have finished talking, and then show your enthusiasm for what they are saying. Be empathetic. If your crush talks about something hard that is going on with them, make sure you don’t skip over their feelings in the conversation. You could say in response to them talking about failing a test, something like, “I could understand why it would be really frustrating to have to retake that test. ”
Tilting your head to one side is another good way to show friendliness/playfulness when you are talking and flirting.
Or if you want to play it safer, you can simply ask “Hey, can I have your number? I have really enjoyed talking to you. ” If you feel like the conversation was just okay, you can always wait for a couple more conversations through texting or in person before asking them to hang out.
You can make inside jokes about what you talked about. For example, you can say “Well now that we have made it through this lunch period without water, I suppose we can get through anything together. ” Making inside jokes can help you cement connections you have made, and it is a good way to make your connection last past the first conversation.
You can keep the end of your conversation casual. You can say something like, “I should be getting home now, but I had a lot of fun talking to you. ” If you are going to be seeing your crush in the future you should say something about seeing them again. Say, “I look forward to seeing you in class and hearing how your paper turned out. ” Send a follow up text in the next couple of days saying hello and checking in with them about the things you talked about.
