Decide if you’re “fighting the good fight,” or if you’re just being petty. If you feel like someone else’s behavior is going to seriously affect your emotional or physical well-being, or is uncalled for and seriously unnecessary, speak up. Any time you’re threatened with emotional or physical abuse is over the line. You need to get out of the situation and seek help immediately, if you feel endangered by someone. The offending behavior must stop, either by leaving or your putting an end to it.
This is what bullies want to get from you: a reaction. If you don’t allow yourself to be goaded into throwing a dumb punch, or acting irrationally, you won’t be involved in fights that don’t need to happen.
If you’re provoked by a stranger, bully, or even an acquaintance who’s just being mean, it’s especially important to remain calm, but to speak up for yourself. Don’t launch into a screaming match, or it’s likely to escalate beyond your control. If you’re provoked by a family member, coworker, partner, or loved one, you might feel your inhibitions lowered slightly and be more inclined to yell, or to react emotionally. It’s even more important in these cases to take a step back. Calm down and figure out what’s making you angry before you respond.
Witnesses are very important for serious fights. If you’re in the workplace, or at school, or even at home, it’s important to have someone else around so everyone will be able to agree on what happened later. It’s good to have someone who’s able to break things up, if the fight should escalate beyond what you had anticipated, or who’ll be able to contact the authorities for you.
Never under any circumstances should you be the one who picks and who instigates fights without proper cause. That’s what a bully does and it’s physical assault, and prosecutable.
If you bring up something that you think might turn into a local vocal argument, and you want to learn to do it calmly and safely, it’s important to establish the grounds of the argument, “I’m a little upset, but I’m not angry. I think we need to talk about this, and it might take a while. " Read this article for more information about having safe arguments in a relationship.
Lots of fights can be ended with a good stare down and a few words. Lock eyes and say, “You can stop that now,” or, even more simply, “Stop. "
Instead of saying, “You are such a nagger” or “You’re being a huge jerk to that woman” or “You stole my toy,” focus on yourself. Say, “I’m feeling really unappreciated and picked on unfairly. Can we talk about it?” or say, “I don’t think she needs to be talked to like that, and I don’t want to listen to it” or say, “That’s my toy. I’d like it back. " Don’t just to criticizing or to whining. It’s important to stay as calm as possible, and you’ll give yourself much more credibility and seem more intimidating as well. If people see you’re not reacting because you’re upset, it’ll mean more. [3] X Research source
Follow through with action if you have to. If you threaten to do something if they don’t stop, and they don’t stop, you need to do it.
Don’t let yourself get baited. Someone might bring up something that has nothing to do with what you’re talking about, digging up dirt from the past, or brag about themselves, or say ridiculous things like, “Who do you think you are?” Don’t respond to any of this. Stick to your original statement, repeating “I need you to stop. Now. " If someone flies off the handle at work and acts irrationally, give them a few minutes to rethink. If your boss freaks out about something small, stand up and say, “I’m going to go outside and wait in the hallway. When you’re calm, we can talk. I’d like to be spoken to like an adult. “[4] X Research source
Picking a fight with someone is technically assault. If you want to fight for sport, or just to get out some aggression, take a boxing class, or train at an MMA gym. If you’re confronted by an aggressor, however, and need to defend yourself, it is sometimes better to throw the first punch and attempt to end it quickly. Action is usually quicker than reaction, so have an offensive mindset and be ready to hit first instead of blocking. If you have the element of surprise on your hands, it’s more likely you’ll be able to end the fight on your terms.
Flex your knees and turn sideways very slightly with your hips, turning your non-dominant or non-punching side toward your opponent. Step forward with your non-dominant foot. Raise your hands, fists balled loosely but not so tightly you cut off blood flow. Put your non-dominant hand forward slightly, up near your eye, and your punching hand next to the side of your face. Keep moving, hopping around, and bouncing on the balls of your feet. Don’t allow yourself to become a target by just standing there. If you stand flat-footed, you’re going to get punched in the face, and lose.
If someone gets knocked down, the fight should be over. End the fight by being the one to walk away, and be the one to call the cops if necessary. Tell the truth.
If somebody tries to take you down, spread your legs and keep your base as wide as possible. Shift out of the way, if possible. If you fall down, you need to protect your face and try to get up as soon as possible. Fighting on the ground makes you vulnerable to all kinds of chokes and punches.
