Consider also the things that you DON’T want in your life. Start work on one goal at a time. Break your goals into small, manageable steps. These will help you accomplish your goals over time.
Your support system can include figures of authority in your life such as your teachers. Seek their advice and follow through on it, if you believe you can confide in them. Such connections can also help you out in the future when your life is more stable and you need someone to put in a good word for you, such as for a job application or a college reference.
Make sure you have people to talk to and to support you through this transition.
Your negative past probably spanned a long period of time. Whether you’re trying to leave your old ways behind or to distance yourself from a negative situation created by others (e. g. an abusive relationship), things probably won’t become completely perfect overnight. Negative habits, behaviors, and methods of coping with stressful situations all take time to develop and time to be replaced with positive, alternative ones. [4] X Research source
No matter who was responsible for the events of your past, you have to take responsibility for improving your present and future. [7] X Expert Source Annie Lin, MBALife & Career Coach Expert Interview. 25 November 2019. Remember that you can only control yourself and your actions but that your actions affect others and the future. [8] X Trustworthy Source Mind U. K. -based mental health charity focused on providing advice and resources to anyone facing mental health problems. Go to source It can be easy to sit back and blame others for the way you are – don’t use that as an excuse to continue living a life you’re not satisfied with.
Therapy is not only for those who face problems with mental health. Anyone who wants to can benefit from speaking to a counsellor or therapist. [10] X Research source If you are uncomfortable going to a therapist/counsellor because you’re afraid people will make fun of you, discuss your fears with someone you trust, someone you know has been to therapy or research online to understand the process of therapy better.
You will have to keep trying your hardest to show that you have changed: let your actions speak for themselves. Accept any punishments that are dealt to you by authority figures (e. g. your principal or boss) and try to perform to the best of your ability. This will be a way of showing that you can accept responsibility for your actions.
Apologize and indicate that you want to make things better. Tell your loved one that you’re sorry for what happened, explain how you think you hurt him and why this was wrong. Then tell him how you can make it better. A simple script to follow is: I’m sorry for… This is wrong because… In the future, I will… Will you forgive me?[12] X Research source Your loved one may not forgive you immediately. Keep trying.
Your friend might be able to show you a different perspective. If you don’t want to talk about it, try writing your thoughts out, then responding in writing as you would to someone you love. Be honest and forthright. Making mistakes does not decrease your worth or make you a bad person. [15] X Research source Everybody makes mistakes.
Think about things people said and did, patterns of behavior (your own and others’), tones of voice, and patterns of your own thinking. Make a list of negative things you tend to repeat to yourself. Find evidence for and against this thought. Look for facts, rather than opinions. Ask yourself what makes you think this way.
Talk to a friend and ask him to help you with this problem. When you’re feeling sad, you can call him and ask them to come over. You can both play a sport or do something different. You could even try to talk about what is making you feel sad to help you deal with the situation. Try to come up with more than one plan to follow in these situations in case something prevents you from following your original one.
You know your loved one best. It can be difficult to convince others to seek the help they need to better their life. Think of ways that you can help him yourself, consult with others on how best to approach the situation or read psychology articles related to your issue.
New habits may be harder to form than new routines. Start by consciously engaging in behavior that you want to become habit. [17] X Expert Source Annie Lin, MBALife & Career Coach Expert Interview. 25 November 2019. Take for example, trying to maintain your personal hygiene. Make a conscious effort to brush your teeth before going to bed and after waking up in the morning. Set a daily reminder on your phone to help you or ask a parent to check that you’ve brushed your teeth. Once this becomes habit, you’ll feel uncomfortable if you don’t brush your teeth at these times.
Sometimes, you might make a decision that would have worked for you in the past but doesn’t any more. Maybe playing video games used to refresh your mind and now it doesn’t bring you that same peace of mind. This is okay. You can outgrow anything. [18] X Research source Don’t force yourself to do something that no longer serves you well.
