If you’ve never talked, explain how you got their number: “Hey, it’s Sean from Econ 240. Lily gave me your number. ” If you met in person, mention where you met: “Hi, this is Leilani from Sammi’s party!”[2] X Expert Source Sarah Schewitz, PsyDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 15 April 2019. “Hey, it’s Snehika from that restaurant. I know we were just at the Spicy Burrito, but I’m definitely going back tonight. ”
“Why do seagulls fly over the sea?” Give them a chance to respond before texting back, “Because if they flew over the bay they’d be bagels, and bagels can’t fly. ” “Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his coffee?” Then send, “Because he drank it before it was cool. ”[3] X Research source “Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?!?” Then send, “He was just going through a stage. ”[4] X Research source
If you have no idea what they like, send a meme related to a massive pop culture phenomenon or celebrity that they’re likely to recognize. Avoid any memes with offensive/explicit language and vulgar content that might send the wrong message.
“What’s the last movie you watched? Was it any good?” “Where can I find the best place for lunch in the city?” “Thoughts on oat milk versus regular milk?” “How do you like working here/studying here/living here so far?”
“What are your plans for the holiday?” “Next time you go downtown, which restaurant are you going to check out?” “What are you looking forward to this weekend?” Ask follow-up questions about their plans, like: “Oh you’re headed home for the holidays? Where’s home for you?”
Mention a pop culture reference they’re interested in: “What’s your Hogwarts house?” Ask about their favorites: “What’s your favorite music?” or “Who’s your fav quarterback?” Bring up something you see in their profile: “Did I see a corgi in your profile pic? Have you been to Corgi Con?”
Bond over small things: “That looks like a cozy sweatshirt in your profile pic. Are you also a hoodie fan?” Bring up shared experiences or places where your paths have crossed: “Woah. My brother played on that team two years before you started. ” Mention shared backgrounds: “I’m also an immigrant! Moved here when I was six. ” Talk about common interests: “So we both like post-punk!?”
Build on an appearance comment: “I love the earrings you have in your bio photo. They remind me of really special ones my mom gave me. ” Praise one of their actions: “I just wanted to say how much I appreciated you standing up for Trevor in the meeting today. ” Compliment a unique trait or quality: “I’ve never seen someone hold that many takeout orders in one hand. You’ve got skills. ”
“What do you know about Madison’s party. Like… where is it haha?” “Do you know what we have to bring to the conference tomorrow?” “I see you’re a music festival fan. I’m going to Bluegrass on the Grass next week. Any tips for making the most of it?” “Woah you’re from Amsterdam? I’m going in 2 weeks. Do you have any advice for dumb tourists like me?” “What did Mr. Brock say about the midterm? I wasn’t paying enough attention lol. ” If they text back “I don’t know,” say: “That makes two of us. What’s your best guess for what we should expect?”
“Are you watching the game tonight?” If they respond “yes,” follow up with “Are you excited?” “Have you been watching the Olympics?” Follow up with, “What’s your favorite event?” “What’d you think of the concert?” Follow up with “How’d it feel to be so close to the stage?” If they respond no to simple questions about events, that’s okay! Just pivot to a new topic and new conversation starter.
“What’s something about yourself that you’d never want to change?”[19] X Research source “That’s a cool name. How did your parents come up with it?” “How long have you lived in this city? Do you remember your first day here?” “What’s your favorite memory from childhood?”
