Acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean forgiveness or understanding. It just means that you have realized something has happened, you acknowledged it, and you are ready to move on from it. Remember that pain and suffering aren’t the same thing. You will feel pain and hurt when you’re life isn’t going in the direction you want, but you don’t have to suffer. Suffering is a choice. Nothing last forever, including pain. So, acknowledge it, experience it, and move on from it. Don’t center your life around the hurt and the failures; get out of that story and avoid the drama (e. g. , “I will never find love again” or “I will never be able to get another job”). [2] X Research source
The lessons you are to learn won’t be obvious; you instead have to discover what your life is telling you. For example, what if you are asked to step down from a position in your career because your ideas for the business are too big or you are taking things in a different direction than what management envisions for the company? Instead of reading this as a failure on your part, think of it as confirmation that you and your boss have fundamentally different visions and that perhaps it’s time to part ways so you can realize your vision elsewhere. [3] X Research source
Write it all down. Keep notes to yourself about your successes, even the small ones. Write every night about something that went well that day. Focusing on the positive helps attract more of it![5] X Research source Then think about how can promoting what is or was working for you even more. For example, maybe you realize that in you were great at talking with customers but that the location wasn’t right for your business and that you need to change venues to an area with more foot traffic. Think about what works or worked for you and how you could improve on that even further. [6] X Research source
Your next steps in life aren’t about anyone else but you. Ignore what everyone else says. A lot of their resistance will be about them and not you because it makes them question their own lives. Remember that only you need to feel comfortable with your choices and decisions. [7] X Research source
What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing? What are you passionate about? What makes you feel like you matter? Answering these questions is key to figuring out what will make you happy and give you a fulfilling life. Say, you love yoga and have been going to yoga classes 3 times a week for 5 years. Maybe it’s not your hobby, but your passion! Maybe you’d like to shift from being the student to the teacher. Think about what truly satisfies your life and makes you feel like you are making a difference and make that the core of your new life. Life is only worth living if you are really living. If you’ve always wanted to teach yoga, why not go for it? You get one life, so make sure you are doing the right things with it. Don’t wait around for a reason to start living your life the way you want.
Set short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals for yourself. Write them down and put them somewhere where you can see them daily (e. g. , a refrigerator door or stuck to your bedroom mirror). Organize your life. You can’t change your life if you’re living a crazy unorganized way. Once you know exactly what change you want to effect and what goals you want to reach, you can begin to plan to make the necessary changes.
One of the best ways to jolt yourself out of a life you’re not satisfied with is to do something completely different. Go on a trip to some place you’ve never been. Start learning a language. Take up a new sport or exercise, whether it be gymnastics, kick boxing or cycling. Even if you think you might be terrible at it, give something new a try. Trying something new things mentally and physically challenges us and also gives us a fresh excitement for life as we can see the endless possibilities of the next day. [11] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source Yes, the unknown is scary, but it is also equally scary to do what you know and continue down a disappointing and unsatisfying path. You might feel nervous or insecure about starting over but you need to think about whether this is worse than the disappoint and lack of fulfillment you feel with your life as it stands.
Take one day at a time. This may sound clichéd, but that doesn’t make it less true. Do what needs to be done TODAY—not tomorrow, not next week. This is what makes starting over manageable. Trying to face the next 365 days can seem impossible, but trying to face the single day ahead seems possible! [13] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
If you’re actually interested in learning how to do something, go for it! But if you’re doing something to prove to others that you can do it or that you’re an everyman or every woman, then knock it off. You’re enough in and of yourself. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. <
Ask for help when you need it and rely on those with expertise in a certain area when you’re unsure of how to do something. Needing, asking for and hiring help doesn’t make you weak but instead makes you smart and resourceful. Everyone has different skills and no man is an island. [16] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
This might mean deleting the numbers of people you call or text when you’re down and need validation, like an old ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. It might mean not buying junk food for the house if you know you’re a stress eater. Having moments of weakness is common. We all stumble and vacillate between what is best for us in the future and what is easy right now. Challenge your “now” and replace it with your vision for your life in the long term.
