For example, if your friend is telling you about a pet emergency they had over the weekend, put your phone away and pay attention. Nod along and ask a follow-up question like, “I hope Tucker is healing quickly! Is he still at the pet hospital or did you already bring him home?” If you start getting bored, gently remind yourself that other people’s lives and thoughts are just as important as your own. [2] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
For example, if your coworker tearfully tells you that their sister passed away over the weekend, you might find it hard to relate since your own sister is alive and well. To understand your coworker’s emotions better, imagine how you’d feel if your own sister died. Then, say something like, “Sally, I’m so sorry. I’m close to my sister and I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. "
For example, try asking other people how they’re doing rather than launching into a wordy description about how you’re doing. Instead of telling your partner about your day as soon as they walk in the door, ask them about their day first.
For example, if your partner wants to go on vacation but you feel strongly that it isn’t in your budget, a nice compromise would be planning a short day-trip or doing something cheap, like hiking or hitting a nearby beach. [6] X Research source Be sure to tell the other person you appreciate their willingness to meet you halfway. For example, you might say, “I really appreciate that you agreed to go hiking this weekend; it means a lot and I think we’re going to have a blast!”
For example, if your boss compliments a project you submitted, don’t forget to mention the hard work your team put in, too. Praising others helps you feel connected to them and makes it easier to turn your focus outward. [8] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
If you’re out with friends and the group is debating where to eat dinner, let someone else pick. Focus on having fun instead! Making your voice heard is important, too, but try to pick your battles. If there are other constructive solutions on the table, you don’t always have to add yours.
For example, maybe you couldn’t help but automatically think about how much you hate your own job. Try to refocus on your friend’s success, congratulate them, and do your best to take yourself out of the equation.
You don’t have to make grand gestures to show gratitude. For example, say “thank you” when you get off the bus or make eye contact and say “thanks” when your waiter refills your water glass. If you want to get into the habit of gratitude, try making gratitude lists on a daily or weekly basis. Strive to list 5 things that you’re grateful for on every list.
Joining a group, signing up for a class, and saying “yes” to invitations more often are great ways to start! It’s normal to become self-centered as a response to loneliness. Unfortunately, being self-centered can make you isolate yourself more, which then makes you more self-absorbed. It can become an endless cycle.
For example, you could volunteer at a homeless shelter or local soup kitchen.
For example, if you travel a lot, a fish, turtle, or hamster will probably require less time and attention than a dog. If you love going for long walks by yourself, a dog might make a great companion for you. If you want a fun, affectionate pet that you don’t have to train or teach commands to, a kitten might be a good choice.
Feeling compassion for yourself doesn’t make you selfish! It’s important to take care of your mental and emotional well-being. [16] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source
