Try to occupy your mind with other things if you find yourself thinking about the guy too much. You can try reading a book or watching a movie. Ask your friends for help. Ask them to be honest and tell you when you’re talking too much about your new love interest. Tell them you’re trying to avoid losing yourself in a new relationships again, and request they let you know when you’re going overboard.
You may be anxious about the relationship progressing to love or a serious romance. This may mean you want to push to seal the relationship by making this official. Resist this temptation. Instead, try to enjoy the early moments of getting to know someone. Wait until the topic arises naturally to try and seal the romance. For example, you may invite the guy to an event with your friends after a few weeks of dating. You can ask something like, “Should I call you my boyfriend?”
You may sacrifice your own needs and wants to always be readily available for a guy you barely know. For example, you may skip a friend’s birthday in hopes the guy will call. You may neglect to finish a book you were invested in because you’ve spent too much time pouring over his Facebook page. Avoid doing things like this. Keep up with your obligations, interest, and hobbies. See where the relationship goes if you’re interested, but do not neglect yourself to do so.
Do you think you would be happy for the rest of your life if you found true love? Do you obsess over movies, music, and TV shows that deal with romance? Do you hold your own personal experiences to ideals you get from television? What do you expect from a romantic partner? Do you expect another person to make you feel happy, fulfilled, and lovable? Do you think you cannot find happiness unless you’re in a romantic relationship?
Do you tend to go from one relationship to another? Do you have trouble staying single for long? Do you take time to heal when a relationship ends, or simply move on to the next thing? Have you ever had to talk yourself into falling for someone? Have you ever dated because you wanted to feel loved? Have you ever changed many aspects of yourself for a relationship? Do you find your style, tastes, and opinions change from one person to the next?
Keep your history in mind when falling for someone new. Draw similarities between your current love interest and past romances. You likely felt some of the same early excitement, and yet those relationships did not work out. Try to take it slow this time around. Remind yourself that love and intimacy take time. You cannot force love prematurely, and you’ll have a healthier and happier relationship if you let love happen on its own.
You can find a therapist by asking your regular doctor for a referral. You can also ask your insurance for a list of in network providers. If you’re a college student, you may be entitled to free counseling from your university.
