Refrain from using substances to dull the pain of feeling lonely. Find healthy activities that make you feel good - not just temporary fixes that only cover the wound.
What hobbies do you enjoy? What are you naturally good at? What have you always wanted to do that you’ve never gotten around to doing? Take this opportunity and do it.
Spending time in nature can have a positive impact on your mental health. [3] X Research source Getting outside can actually reduce stress, and may also help improve your physical health as well. So, grab a blanket and read a book on the park grass. Doing this regularly just might lift your spirits.
They seem “too good to be true. " They call you all the time, plan all of your activities, and seem perfect. Often, these are early warning sign of abusive people who want to take control of your actions. They don’t reciprocate. You may pick them up from work, do them a favor on the weekend, etc. , but somehow they never manage to return the favor. These people are taking advantage of your vulnerability to profit. They get moody when you try to spend time elsewhere. You may be so excited to interact with another person that their controlling behavior doesn’t initially bother you. However, if these people check in on you, try to keep track of where you go and who you’re with, or express concern that you have friends other than them, this is a warning sign.
If you’re going through a hard time, maybe your loved ones don’t even know. And, you don’t have to tell them all your feelings if you don’t feel comfortable. Share what feels comfortable for you. Your loved ones will probably feel honored that you shared your feelings with them.
Just go looking for opportunities to socialize and take them. Search online for a group fitness class. Find a group of comic book aficionados. Sign up for that intramural league you’ve been contemplating at work. Get involved in something. Create opportunities. Initiate conversations. It’s the only way these patterns of loneliness will change. [6] X Research source This may involve getting out of your comfort zone - but you have to think of it as a good thing, a challenge. And if you don’t like it, you can opt out. More than likely, you won’t be hurt from the situation, but you can learn something from it.
Don’t pay thousands of dollars for a dog. Go to your local humane society or pet shelter and rescue a pet that needs a good home. Research shows that, aside from companionship, pets can improve your psychological well-being and even help you live longer.
The simplest way to extend your focus is to find a group of people you can help. Volunteer at a hospital, soup kitchen, or homeless shelter. Join a support group. Get involved with a charity. Be a big brother or sister. Everyone out there is fighting a battle; maybe you could help them with theirs. You could even look for ways to help others who may be lonely. The infirm and the elderly are often shut-in away from social interaction. Volunteering to visit an elder care home or “candy stripe” in a hospital could help you diminish someone else’s loneliness, too.
For example, perhaps you just moved out of your parents’ house to a new city. You have a group of new friends from work whom you enjoy, but you still feel lonely in the evenings when you come home to an empty house. This suggests that you are looking for someone you can have a stable, strong emotional connection to. Understanding the source of your loneliness can help you take action to fight it. It can also make you feel better about your feelings. In this example, understanding that you enjoy your new friends but miss the connection you had to your family when you lived with them allows you to acknowledge that what you’re feeling is natural.
Reframing your self-talk can be an incredibly challenging task. Oftentimes, we are not even aware of all the negative thoughts we have in a day. Spend ten minutes a day trying to just notice your negative thoughts. Then, attempt to reframe negative thoughts into more positive ones. Then, work your way up until you spend all day monitoring your self-talk and taking control. Your entire perspective may change after successfully doing this exercise.
Challenge these thoughts when they come to mind. For instance, you can probably think of a few times when you did not feel so lonely. You made a connection with someone, if only for a minute, and you felt understood. Acknowledge and accept that statements derived from black and white thinking just aren’t complex enough to reflect the truth of our rich emotional lives.
The opposite is true, too. If you expect things to go well, they often do. Test out this theory by making a positive assumption about a situation in your life. Even if the results aren’t absolutely wonderful, you may not feel so bad about things if you go into the situation with a positive mindset. A great way to practice positive thinking is to simply surround yourself with positive people. You will notice how these individuals view life and others and their positivity just may rub off on you. [11] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Another tactic for positive thinking is to avoid saying anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to a friend. For example, you would never tell a friend that the person is a loser. So, if you find yourself thinking “I am a loser,” correct this harsh comment by stating something nice about yourself like “I make mistakes sometimes, but I am also intelligent, funny, caring, and spontaneous. "
Persistent feelings of loneliness can sometimes be an indicator of depression. Seeing a mental health professional for a proper evaluation may help you to recognize signs of depression and adequately treat this disorder. Just talking to someone about your situation can help. It can give you perspective on what’s normal and what’s not, what you can do to feel more social, and how much better you may feel just by changing up your routine.
Social loneliness. This type of loneliness includes feelings like aimlessness, boredom, and social exclusion. It can happen when you don’t have a solid social network (or if you’ve been separated from one, such as moving to a new place). Emotional loneliness. This type of loneliness includes feelings like anxiety, depression, insecurity, and desolation. It can happen if you don’t have the strong emotional connections with people that you’d like to.
Ultimately, you decide what to make of your situation. Take this as an opportunity to better understand yourself and make improvements. Evolutionary understanding of loneliness suggests that the pain it causes can fuel you to take action and become someone you’d never otherwise be able to become.
Introverted people may desire having a close relationship with one or two people. They may not need to see these friends everyday. Instead, they may enjoy spending time in solitude for the most part and only require the stimulation of others every now and then. However, if their social and emotional needs are not met, introverts can still feel lonely. [13] X Research source Extroverted people may need to be around a group of people to feel like their social meter is getting adequately filled. They may feel down when they are not interacting with others who provide stimulation. If their connections are not socially and emotionally fulfilling, though, an extrovert can feel lonely even surrounded by people. [14] X Research source Where do you fall on the spectrum? Understanding how your personality impacts your feelings of loneliness can guide you in making decisions about how to overcome these feelings.
Scientists are now referring to loneliness a public health concern. [15] X Research source Recent studies have shown that people who feel isolated, either by physical distance or subjectively, may die earlier than those who do not.
