Try the old public speaking tip: to calm your nerves, imagine the audience is in their underwear. In this case, imagine your crush in a vulnerable or silly position: in their underwear, going to the bathroom, or getting potty-trained as a kid! Try not to think of your crush as “the cutest, smartest, most perfect person,” but as “that person I sit next to in biology. " Idolizing your crush may prevent you from seeing things that are not so good about them. You might be so caught up in how cute they are, you miss that they’re actually not a nice person, and not someone you really want to be with at all.
Try wearing a necklace or ring that was a gift from someone who loves you. When you’re feeling nervous, touch your jewelry to remind yourself that regardless of how things go with your crush, there are plenty of people who think you are amazing. Try striking a power pose before you see them. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart, hands on your hips, shoulders back. This “wonder woman” pose can actually change your chemistry, making you feel more confident, more likely to take risks, and better able to cope with stress. [2] X Research source
Use this as a jumping-off point to ask your crush about themselves. People love to talk about themselves and usually think favorably about someone who asks them questions and listens. [6] X Research source Ask if your crush has ever seen the band live, or which songs are their favorite. Finding out your common interests can also be a good way to lead up to asking out your crush. If you both love soccer, maybe you crush will want to join you (and your friends, if you’re still nervous) at a match over the weekend.
Make sure you trust your friend not to embarrass you. If you have a friend who can sometimes be a little mean or likes to tease you, then telling her about your crush might not be the best idea. She might think it’s funny to try and make you blush or even tell your crush how you feel.
Taking a deep breath can go a long way in calming you down. [8] X Research source Try to inhale for four seconds, then exhale for four seconds. As you are breathing, think about what you will say, instead of blurting out something defensive.
People are more likely to be forgiving of those who own up to their mistakes. If you acknowledge that you said or did something embarrassing, there might be a little teasing, but people will be more likely to let it go. [10] X Research source Even if you can’t laugh about it in the moment, try making a joke out of it later. It will show you don’t take yourself too seriously.
It’s likely your crush didn’t even notice the thing you’re agonizing over. Or, if they did, it probably wasn’t as bad as you think. Obsessing over a moment in the past can be destructive and does little other than make you feel sad and angry. If there’s something to learn from the incident (like to pause and think before you speak), then take that lesson, and let the rest go. Remember that everyone gets embarrassed. Each and every person, from the president to your crush, has been embarrassed.
Try approaching people you think are cute and asking them for the time. Build up to striking up little conversations with strangers.
Remember that everyone struggles with self-esteem issues. Everyone has flaws they are worrying about, everyone feels low or like they’re not good enough at some time in their lives. In fact, most people are probably so busy worrying about their own flaws that they don’t have time to notice yours. Do things that make you feel good about yourself. Exercise and eat right, wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident.
Doing interesting things will make you more interesting. Don’t just talk about how you want to join the track team or learn to be an amazing cook—make it happen!
