For instance, your goal could be “Start running 20 minutes a day to improve my health and work towards running a 5K in one year’s time. " Be sure to break your goals into small steps. If you commit to running a half marathon tomorrow when you’ve never run a day in your life, you’re going to fail. You have to start small enough that you can actually accomplish your goals, such as saying you will start by running in 5 minute stretches. [2] X Research source
In this case, you gave yourself a year to reach your goal of running a 5K.
Take out a piece of paper. Write down the negative effects of not taking action.
On the same sheet of paper, label a section “benefits. " Write down how you would benefit from taking action. For instance, you could write something such as “Would start a new job. "
For short-term motivation, look at the day-to-day habits of people you look up to. Then, use that information for tips on how to be productive and keep moving toward your goals. [11] X Expert Source Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MALife Coach Expert Interview. 22 April 2020. Think about the things you liked when you were younger. That might give you insight into something you feel passionate about—you’re more likely to feel motivated if you’re excited about what you’re doing. [12] X Expert Source Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MALife Coach Expert Interview. 22 April 2020. You can also try focusing on how you want to give back to the world when you’re trying to make long-term plans for your life. [13] X Expert Source Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MALife Coach Expert Interview. 22 April 2020.
Start by noting what behaviors you practice to reduce uncertainty. For instance, maybe you double-check emails to friends to make sure they’re perfect or maybe you only go to restaurants you know you like because you don’t want to be caught trying something new that you may not like. Once you figure out the behaviors, make a list of which ones would cause you the most anxiety to stop doing. Starting on the lower anxiety end, work on stopping or changing some of the behaviors on your list. Try letting someone else plan an evening for you or sending a text to your friend that you didn’t double-check for errors. Take note of the times you are able to accomplish stopping these behaviors, and how it made you feel. You may find that it makes you excited or that you still feel anxious. Nonetheless, you’ll likely find that the result is still fine, even if everything didn’t go as smoothly as you would have liked. Keep working on your behaviors to ensure you keep tolerating uncertainty in your life.
Start by listing all the ways that perfectionism has helped you in the past. Maybe it has helped you get good grades, for instance. Next, list the ways that not being a perfectionist could hurt you. Think about what the worst thing that could happen is. For instance, maybe your fear is that you would lose your job. For each fear, put in a reality check, such as “It’s unlikely that I would lose my job over one mistake. "
For instance, say you are putting together cookies for your kid’s class. If you are trying to make each cookie perfect and failing, to the point that you want to throw them in the trash, stop and think. Would the kids prefer slightly imperfect cookies or no cookies at all?
Make another list. This time, write down things you like about yourself, such as “kind to animals” or “fun to be around. " Part of putting less value on accomplishments is learning to love yourself. To love yourself, you need to practice self-care, meaning that you value yourself as much as you value you others. That means talking to yourself in the same way you would talk to a friend, rather than the negative voice you may sometimes use. For instance, instead of saying, “Wow, I look ugly today,” you could say, “Wow, my hair looks nice today. " You have to learn to find the positive in yourself. [20] X Research source It also means accepting yourself as you are. Yes, you have both positive and negative qualities, but so does everyone. You have to learn that all of it is a part of you, and you need to be able to love all of it, even as you may want to improve yourself. [21] X Research source