Distancing yourself will be hard at first, but it’s ultimately for the better and will make the process of getting over them easier and faster.
If you’re reluctant to delete their information entirely, consider writing it on a piece of paper that you won’t see every day and store it in a safe place. Email copies of their text messages and then archive them if you aren’t ready to completely delete them. Remember that even if you delete your contact, they may not delete you. If they contact you, you can either not respond or choose to send a brief, polite response. [3] X Research source
If you’re concerned that you might hurt your crush or leave others questioning your motives by unfollowing or defriending them on social media sites, find a way to minimize what you see on these apps. For example, on Facebook you can simply unsubscribe from their posts, which will make sure that you don’t get status updates.
It may be difficult to not mention them in conversations, especially if you have mutual friends, so try to not talk about them or ask how they are too often. You can also step away from conversations about them. If you need to talk about them to process your thoughts and feelings, do so but don’t make it a regular habit.
There will likely be situations, especially in groups with mutual friends, where your crush’s name is brought up. In order to get over them more quickly, step away from these groups until they’ve moved on to a new topic of conversation.
If you take classes together or work in the same place, don’t sit near them. If they sit next to you, you can also find a way to relocate or decide to keep it cordial. Also do not engage in eye contact with them. Then it could make things awkward or spark an unwanted conversation. If you like the same restaurants, for example, try out new places to eat.
You can either take a gradual or cold-turkey approach to removing them from your life. It might be emotionally easier for you to remove reminders of them bit by bit, or you can also get rid of traces of them all at once. Doing this at all once will be very difficult, but can speed up the process of getting over your crush. Delete emails or get rid of letters, cards, or presents from your crush. Holding on to these things make you hold on to your feelings for them. [7] X Research source Delete any photos of them or the two of you together. [8] X Research source If you aren’t ready to throw out your mementos just yet, put them in a box and give them to a friend for the time being. [9] X Expert Source Amy ChanRelationship Coach Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
Recognize that your crush was something significant in your life. Even if you didn’t have a romantic relationship, you still had some relationship to them. It’s ok to be sad over the loss of this. [12] X Research source Don’t be angry with your crush. They might not even know that you had feelings for them or they might be in a situation where they can’t reciprocate your feelings. Don’t get angry with them over something which they don’t have much control. There are many reasons why you may have to get over your crush. Perhaps they found a boyfriend/girlfriend or perhaps they were always in a relationship or married. Maybe your parents oppose them, or and maybe it’s something as simple as they’re too old for you. Maybe you are wise enough to realize that you wouldn’t be compatible in a relationship, even though you have romantic feelings for them. These are all factors over which you have very little control, and about which you cannot be mad at them. If you’re having an especially hard time with the process, you can always get counseling to help you with your feelings. [13] X Research source
Focusing on your crush’s flaws can help you get over them and possibly even find someone better suited for you. [14] X Research source
Friends and family will keep you from wallowing in your sadness. [16] X Research source They can provide an excellent distraction by doing fun activities with you that don’t involve your crush.
For example, start exercising or try a new fitness activity like yoga, which will also help you focus your mind on something other than your crush. You might also want to take a class that will help you with your job. [18] X Research source Whatever you do, always make sure that it makes you feel good about yourself. [19] X Research source
For example, maybe you’ve always wanted to learn how to rock climb. This new activity will require a lot of practice, leaving less time to think about your crush.
There are many different ways to meet new people, including joining a running group or going to happy hours at new places. Group activities are an excellent way to meet new people and distract yourself from your crush.
A little harmless flirting may be good to help you gain self-confidence and remember that there are other people with whom you might have a connection. Just remember to keep it light and fun.
