If someone mentions the rumor, you can say, “I’ve heard that that’s been going around” or “I know what people are saying about me. " Better yet, beat the rumormongers to the punch. If you know a vicious rumor is spreading about you (and fast!) then you can even tell other people who haven’t heard yet about it. They’d be more likely to be on your side if they heard it from you, than if they heard it from the rumor mill.
The other thing is, if you act very upset because of the rumors, everyone will be convinced that they are true. When you start assuming that some people are thinking negatively of you, a series of negative images will come to you one by one or all at once. The key to breaking this cycle is taking a step back and trying to see the whole chain of these negative images—that will help you see the irrationality of the cycle. [3] X Expert Source Hyungbum Kang, MA, MSW, LCSW, MACLicensed Clinical Social Worker Expert Interview. 22 July 2021. You can also get rid of these negative images by distracting yourself with an activity that really interests you. [4] X Expert Source Hyungbum Kang, MA, MSW, LCSW, MACLicensed Clinical Social Worker Expert Interview. 22 July 2021.
Remember that in the end, you want to come out on top. You want people to respect you and to think that you’re a worthy person. If you want to maintain a level of respect even after the vicious rumor is spread, then you have to continue to keep your head high, instead of thinking, “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em,” which will get you nowhere.
This is a tricky one. It’s up to you to determine whether you need to talk to an adult or if you can handle this on your own.
If people ask you about the rumor, you should stand up for yourself no matter what. If you brush it off or act like you don’t want to talk about it, then people will believe it’s true.
Don’t bother thinking “Well, they shouldn’t assume that” or “I should be able to do what I want without them thinking such and such. " The point is, they do, and as long as you continue the behavior, the rumor will continue to spread. Of course, if you’re doing absolutely nothing to fuel the rumor, then there’s nothing to change. And even if you are doing something to potentially cause the rumor, don’t be hard on yourself if that’s the case!
Of course, one of the problems with rumors is that they are so hard to disprove. Don’t scramble for evidence to the contrary if you simply can’t get it. When someone falsely accuses you of something, your main goal is to get to a reasonable open discussion. To prepare for this open discussion, you have to gather evidence such as recordings, data, or witnesses to prove that you’re innocent. [7] X Expert Source Hyungbum Kang, MA, MSW, LCSW, MACLicensed Clinical Social Worker Expert Interview. 22 July 2021.
Of course, if it’s deeply painful, then you may not want the world to know. But if you think talking about it to everyone is the easiest way to prove it’s ridiculous and to make it go away, then go for it.
If you don’t want to face the source alone, bring a few friends. Of course, don’t put yourself in a dangerous or uncomfortable situation if you know that talking to the person in question will simply do you no good.
You may be so busy worrying about how to convince people the rumors aren’t true that you haven’t spent time taking care of yourself. Well, you’ve got to focus on yourself – instead of the meaningless hurt caused by others – if you want to go back to having a happy, healthy life.
