It is helpful to create a phone list of people you can call. Make sure these numbers are in your phone: 988: This is a 24-hour crisis lifeline if you’re about to self-harm or are in an emergency situation. 1-800-334-HELP: This number is the Self Injury Foundation’s 24-hour national crisis line. 1-800-DON’T-CUT: This number provides information about self-harm. You can even try talking to an inanimate object, a pet, a photograph, or a poster. These objects can give you somewhere to aim your voice and won’t judge you for your actions. Remember that different helplines are available in different countries, and calling a helpline abroad may result in additional charges.
Talking about wanting to die or to kill yourself. Looking for a way to kill yourself. Making statements about being hopeless. Talking about having no reason to live.
Color your hair. Make a cup of tea. Count up to 500 or 1000. Work on a puzzle or mind game. Go “people watching. " Play a musical instrument. Watch TV or a movie. Paint your nails. Organize something like books, your closet, etc. Make origami to occupy your hands. Play a sport. Take a walk. Make your own dance routine. Do an art project or color in a picture.
Tell yourself that you don’t want scars. Remember that you don’t have to hurt yourself just because you’re thinking about self-harm. Repeat to yourself, “I don’t deserve to be hurt,” even if you don’t believe it. Remember that you always have the choice not to cut. It’s up to you what you do.
Just throwing stuff in the garbage might not be enough. Make sure you do not have access to them even in the trash can. Give it up to someone else to dispose of them for good. You could even have a symbolic “funeral” for your harmful objects, burning them, throwing them away, or burying them. Say out loud: “I don’t need you anymore. "
Self-harm can be with or without intent of suicide. [3] X Research source Additionally, self-harm might be a symptom of another issue such as depression, anxiety, or other psychological disorder.
Identifying triggers is one of the first steps for healing yourself. If the underlying triggers and causes are not addressed, the need for coping will remain. [6] X Research source
Write down when you feel the urge to self-harm, or when you actually do harm yourself. Try to write down the situation, thought, feeling or emotion that you experienced. You may have also experienced physical sensations such as energy, tightening of the stomach, or other actions. Write down what happened just before the self-harming. Journaling might reveal that you are experiencing certain situations that create the urge to self-harm. Some of these situations might be: problems with peers (including bullying or cyber-bullying), pressure at school, feeling socially isolated, abuse, confusion around sexuality, or issues in your family. [7] X Research source The goal is to become aware of your thoughts and not passively acting on negative thoughts that lead to self-harming behaviors.
A good way to assess negative thoughts is to look for words like “should,” “ought,” or “must. ” These types of statements are usually negative and critical of yourself. Ask a friend or trusted family member if you are unsure if thoughts are true.
Thought stopping can be a physical change, such as doing an activity. Take a walk, talk with a friend, read a book, or work on a chore.
For example, if you think, “I always ruin dinner parties because I arrive too late,” you can counter this thought with something positive, such as: “I am a caring person because I like to bring some flowers for the host. ”
A thought record reminds you about questions to ask yourself about your thought process, including describing the situation, identifying what you’re reacting to, looking at the situation from an outside perspective, assessing whether the statement or situation is true, and how you can respond to the situation. [8] X Research source There are many cognitive behavioral therapy thought record templates available online, including here and here.
I am lovable. I am special. I am confident. I can achieve my goals. I am beautiful. Harming myself does not solve my problems. I can overcome my anger, sadness, and anxiety without harming. I can trust someone with my feelings right now. I can seek support. Remind yourself by using post-it notes or leaving messages on your mirror. If you have trouble believing abstract statements such as “I am special” or “I am confident,” you don’t have to use them just yet. Instead, use positive statements that focus on the behavior you want to achieve. These might give you more specific guidance, such as “I can trust someone with my feelings right now,” and “Harming myself does not solve my problems. ” Positive self-talk should not be mandated by others. Instead, it should be used when you feel like it is helpful.
Pictures of friends, family, or pets Journal Art supplies Inspiring quotes Music or lyrics
It is hard to verbalize our feelings and sometimes it is easier to act out our feelings of sadness, anger, or lonely in the form of self-harm. But for long-term success, it is important to address the underlying stress. If you self-harm, it might be embarrassing and hard to talk about. You might worry that the other person will judge you or pressure you to talk about it. But it is important to share your worries about your life with your loved ones. They want to help you.
Start in a comfortable position. You can sit on the floor with legs crossed, or in a chair with your feet planted flat on the ground. Start to become aware of your breath. Focus on each part of your breath (inhale, hold, and exhale). You do not need to breathe in any particular way. Next, start to bring awareness to each of your 5 senses (sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch). Spend about one minute focusing on only one sense: Hear: What sounds do you hear around you? Focus on external sounds (do you hear cars going by, people talking, birds chirping?). Focus on internal sounds (can you hear your breathing or digestion?). As you focus on hearing, did you notice anything you did not before? Smell: What do you smell? Is there food near you? You might notice smells you did not before, like the smell of paper in the books. Try closing your eyes. Sometimes this helps decrease visual distractions and sharpen other senses. Sight: What do you see? It is easy to see the couch or desk. Take notice of details such as colors, patterns, shapes and textures. Taste: What do you taste? Even if you do not have food in your mouth, you can still taste. Notice any aftertaste of a previous drink or meal. Run your tongue over your teeth and cheeks to help you become more aware. Touch: What do you feel without moving from your seated position? Feel the sensation of your skin being touched by clothing, seating in your chair, and feet on the floor. Feel the texture of your clothes or the chair.
Start in a comfortable seat position. Have a single point to focus on. This could be something visual such a candle flame, a sound such as a repeating single word or prayer, or something physical such as counting beads on a rosary. Keep your focus on this one thing. While you are focusing, your mind will wander. When you notice your thoughts wandering, let the thought go, and bring your concentration back to your focus point. This might sound easy, but focusing the mind is challenging. Don’t be disappointed if you can only focus for a few minutes at first. [11] X Research source
Count to 5 while inhaling, hold for 5 counts, and take 5 counts to exhale. Focus on each part of your breath as you count. Another way to focus on your breath is to use a deflated balloon. Blow up the balloon and watch it deflate.
Start in a comfortable position that allows you to focus on different muscle groups. Most people find sitting or lying down the easiest to start. Focus on one group of muscles that you can tense and then relax. Common areas include face, hands and arms, stomach/ middle section, and legs/feet. To start with your face, imagine eating a lemon. Feel the tension in your lips, cheeks, jaw, forehead, and eyes when you bite into the lemon. Your face gets all wrinkled around your nose, yours eye close, and your lips pucker. Then focus on relaxing all those muscles. It might help to think about eating something sweet and how your face feels relaxed/calm when you are eating something you enjoy. [14] X Research source To work on your shoulders and back, imagine that you are a cat. Think about how a cat arches its back and spreads its paws. Make your body copy the cat. Roll your shoulders up to your ears and arch your back. You can even get on your hands and knees to really arch your back. Then relax and go back to your normal sitting position. For your middle, it might be easiest to lay on your back. Imagine a heavy ball sitting on your stomach. Take a really deep breath, and relax those muscles. Tense and relax your feet. This can be done anywhere, even when wearing shoes. Curl your toes. Then stretch them out as wide as they can go. Relax your toes.
While walking, take notice of each step. How do your feet feel on ground? How do your feet feel in your shoes? Focus on your breath. Take notice of the environment: Stop and smell the roses, as the saying goes. [16] X Research source
Talking about wanting to die or to kill themselves. Looking for a way to kill themselves. Making statements about being hopeless. Talking about having no reason to live.
Ask your doctor for a referral to a counselor or psychologist who specializes in self-harm. Schedule an appointment to talk. If you have trouble being honest with a close friend or family member, you may find it freeing and comforting to share with someone who doesn’t know you. If you have some really difficult life situations, such as abuse or a traumatic incident, or your feelings are so overwhelming that they drive you to cut or harm yourself, the most productive place for you to express those feelings is in a safe, neutral, and nonjudgmental environment.
Look on the S. A. F. E. Alternatives website for listings of support groups near you.
Start extending the length of your milestones, celebrating at first with days, and then weeks, months, and years. You may struggle with these thoughts for a while, but celebrating your milestones can help celebrate your efforts, looking forward and looking back.
