The best thing you can do in an emergency is call for help. Severe bleeding, burns, and any kind of overdose are best handled by medical professionals.
If you live with the individual, you may notice blood-soaked tissues or towels lying around. Someone who self-harms may claim that they “tripped” or “bumped into something” to excuse their injuries.
For instance, a person may be triggered to self-harm if they’re reminded how lonely and empty they feel inside. Another person may be triggered by events that remind them of a traumatic incident.
For instance, if the person tends to self-harm around their wrists, you can encourage them to rub an ice cube over their wrist whenever they’re tempted to self-injure.
If someone is experiencing really painful emotions, encourage them to draw or paint with red colors. They can also channel their feelings into poetry, or write their thoughts down and rip up the paper afterwards. If a person uses self-harm to calm down, invite them to snuggle with a pet, bundle up in a blanket, listen to relaxing music, or take a hot bath. If someone is self-harming to help feel more connected, encourage them to take a cool shower, chew something pungent (e. g. , a chili pepper, citrus peel), or log onto a self-help chat room. If they’re self-injuring to vent their feelings, remind them to do some intense exercise, grip a stress ball, rip up some paper, or bang some pots and pans around. You can find many coping alternatives here: https://www. adolescentselfinjuryfoundation. com/things-to-do-besides-self-harm.
Try to come from an honest, genuine place—you want to communicate love and concern in a way that’s straight to the point, but not judgmental. It’s really important to let the person know that you’re there for them. [9] X Expert Source Liana Georgoulis, PsyDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 7 February 2020. Give yourself plenty of time to talk with your friend, family member, or acquaintance. This is a heavy topic, and not something you can talk about in between classes or in a passing conversation. You can say something like: “Hey. I’ve been noticing some cuts and bruises on your arms a lot, and I just wanted to check in and make sure that you’re okay. If there’s anything wrong, please know that you can talk to me. ” It’s okay if you don’t know the right thing to say! What matters most is that you’re offering compassion and support to someone who’s struggling.
If someone shuts down your offer for help, say something like: “I understand, and I respect your privacy. However, please know that I’m here for you if you need anything. ”
For instance, if a person sees a couple in the hallway at school, they may be overwhelmed and triggered by a feeling of loneliness. A person refusing your offers to help doesn’t mean that they still don’t need it.
Self-harm is usually an indication that a person is feeling quite a lot of emotional pain, so they’ll likely need continued support to overcome this problem. [13] X Expert Source Liana Georgoulis, PsyDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 7 February 2020. For instance, you can direct them to a National Self Harm Network forum, or encourage them to email an organization like Harmless for more information and support. For direct help, tell them to text 741741, which is a crisis text line. [14] X Research source
If they don’t have access to therapy, lead them to a helpful outreach site, like: http://sioutreach. org. Talking to a therapist can help the person understand what feelings are coming up and why. That can be really empowering in terms of moving forward in a new, different way. [16] X Expert Source Liana Georgoulis, PsyDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
In the US, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. In the UK, call 116 123.
For instance, don’t say something like: “I wish I was as strong as you. ” Instead, say: “You must be going through so much pain right now. I’m always here to listen if you need it. ”
Never say something like: “If you don’t stop self-harming, I won’t be your friend anymore” or “You’re just hurting yourself for attention. ” Instead, say something like: “You mean a lot to me and I want you to be happy and healthy. Do you want me to help you find a good therapist?”
For instance, you can bring your concerns to a guidance counselor at school, or a Human Resources representative at work. If you suspect that a sibling or other loved one is self-harming, confide in a parent, guardian, or other trusted relative for help.
