Once you have the breath in your diaphragm, try vocalizing from the place where you are resting your hand.
Drop your jaw as low as you can and take in a large yawn. Release the air slowly with a gentle hum. Repeat this several times until you begin to feel your throat relaxing. Once your throat is relaxed, continue dropping your jaw, then exhaling with words like “hang, harm, lane and loam. ” Massage your neck throughout this process if you feel it tightening.
Creating variety in your volume will allow you to be more conscious of your volume and see the effect on your listener. Try speaking at almost a whisper. Make your voice quieter until someone asks you to speak up. Try raising your volume only on the word you would like to emphasize. “That pizza was the BEST!”
Voice coaches can lead you through some breathing exercises, as well as running through the range of pitch and volume with your voice. If you are working on your own, ask a friend if they have noticed a difference. Give them permission to point out when you raise your voice. When they do point it out, don’t get angry. Remember that they are trying to help you.
Try to approach the conversation from a non-judgmental perspective. Make sure that the other person knows that you’re there to support and listen to whatever they’re talking about.
Get rid of exterior sounds by closing windows and doors. Move closer to the person or people you are talking to. The more distance between you and your audience, the more likely you will feel the need to raise your voice to fill the void. Speak in a small room. Large rooms eat up sound, and you may feel the need to speak up. Choose small rooms for quieter communication.
Meet the other person where they are at. Try to understand where they are coming from and let them know that you get it by saying something like, “I understand you have been under a lot of stress lately,” or, “I know that you are busy right now, so I will be quick. ” Stay positive when you are speaking negatively. Even though you disagree with a person, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you dislike the person. There is certainly no need to disrespect them. Say “no. ” Sometimes it’s as simple as just learning to say, “no. ” If there does not seem to be a solution in sight, you can end the conversation and walk away rather than escalating the argument and raising your voice.
Wait for your opportunity to be heard rather than speaking over someone. Use body language to indicate that you would like to speak. Try raising a finger, nodding, or shaking your head. When you do have the floor, make your point quickly, before someone else jumps in.
Listening to a recording of yourself eliminates the bone-conducted sound as there is no vibration from the vocal chords to create this pathway. This is why your voice sounds different when you are listening to a recording of yourself. Try wearing earplugs to eliminate the sound conducted by air. Some abnormalities of the inner ear can lead to extra sensitivity of the the bone transfer of sound to the point where you can hear the automatic systems of the body like breathing and moving your eyes. See if eliminating one of these pathways has a significant effect on your hearing.
Where do you place yourself in rank of power? What effect is this having on the people around you? Would it benefit you to reduce your vocal intensity to better communicate on the same level?
