Consider playing rejection therapy to gently increase your tolerance of rejection.
Past experiences with rejection, judgment, and abandonment may make you especially sensitive to these things. People with overly critical parents or guardians may end up especially sensitive as a result (and may show signs of anxiety or depression). [2] X Research source Untangling some of these feelings might help you understand why you feel this way.
Talking to a counselor or therapist may help.
Write a list of your strengths and abilities to remember what your strong points are. Make a list of things or moments that you’re proud of. Reward yourself for these good things. Think about the sorts of skills that you demonstrate during these moments. How can you do more of those things? This will help build your self-confidence. Remember, there are benefits to being a sensitive person—you can see more deeply into interactions with other people, for instance. [3] X Expert Source Catherine Boswell, PhDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 18 December 2020.
Consider volunteering your time at a hospital, school event, local humane society, or website like wikiHow.
Next, take each goal and break it into smaller steps. How can you begin working towards that goal? What little thing could you do now?
Sometimes, extreme sensitivity is a sign of a disorder such as C-PTSD.
Smile. Smiling can boost your mood, and it may be contagious too. Keep a gratitude journal. Every evening, write down 3 good things that happened today, or that you’re thankful for. Do a random act of kindness for somebody.
Remove toxic people from your life. These are people who treat you poorly or who dump all their problems on you without reciprocating in a supportive way. [7] X Research source
Keep a good posture, as it can improve your mood.
Do something that you find rewarding in and of itself (as opposed to because of external rewards like money or praise).
Sometimes, you just need to turn on some sad music, look out the window, and have a good cry. Let out your emotions. You may feel better afterwards. Don’t punish yourself for getting upset. Everyone goes through rough times, and gets upset about them. This is normal. Give yourself time to be sad, angry, or otherwise unhappy.
Not an “I” statement: “You are very rude and you are trying to purposefully hurt me!” “I” statement: “I feel hurt when you say things like that. ” Not an “I” statement: “You are a terrible person who is too immature to see that your friends never see you anymore!” “I” statement: “I’m feeling sad because I feel like we don’t hang out much anymore, and I would like to see you more often. ”
Try to create some emotional distance between you and the other person. Pay attention to how you’re perceiving the conversation with them, then try to challenge or that belief if it’s negative. [13] X Expert Source Catherine Boswell, PhDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 18 December 2020.
Imagine that someone else were being treated the same way that you’re being treated. How would you feel about them going through that? What might you say to that person? Apply that same compassion and care to yourself. If you are uncertain about the situation, or if you have a condition (e. g. autism) that affects your social judgment, ask for advice. Confide in someone you trust, and research abuse on the internet.
Don’t jump to conclusions. Don’t catastrophize the situation. This is the idea that it’s the “end of the world. ” Are things really this bad? Stay away from thinking that things are “always” and “never” happening.
“Could you please clarify? I’m not sure I understand. " “I’m not sure I understand what you just said. " “I might have misheard that. Could you repeat it?”
Think back to a bad day you had before. Is it possible that this person is having a day like that today? Recognize that they may consider the event a mistake. We all say things we regret, and this could be one of their regrets.
When you identify your triggers, you can acknowledge that you might be taking things too personally. It may also be helpful to inform people about your triggers. “I’d rather you didn’t make jokes about me being a witch. My nose and face are a bit of a sore spot for me, so it stings a little. "
Try mindfulness exercises. Be present in the moment, which will bring you away from a previous moment that you’re ruminating about. Take a walk. Get a change of scenery to distract your mind from the problem. Schedule a worry break. Allow yourself 20 minutes to worry about a problem. When 20 minutes is up, move on to something else.
Having a bad day Having had to deal with a difficult person before Being reminded of a situation that upset them Not able to manage anger, fear, or other emotions well
How does this person interact with other people? Does this person act like this with everyone (or almost everyone)? What is the content of their speech, as opposed to the tone?
Give this person a compliment if possible, or ask them if they’d like to talk about anything.
Imagine that there’s an inner child acting out, because the person hasn’t learned how to deal with problems in a mature way. It’s much easier to be patient and feel compassionate when you visualize a learning child at the helm of their behavior.
For example, someone from a different culture that is a bit more reserved may come across as cold or aloof. People with certain disabilities, such as autism or intellectual disabilities, may not be aware of certain social cues or speech inflections. They may come across as insensitive or rude when they do not mean to be. Some people may not realize their “joking” behavior is not being well received by others.
Not constructive: “The article is sloppy and poorly referenced. The second topic is lacking in substance. ” (This comment offers no methods for improving. ) Constructive: “The article you wrote needs to have a few more references and an expansion of the second topic. Other than that, this looks good. ” Definitely not constructive: “This is a terribly written article. ” It can be hurtful to hear criticism that is not constructive. Think again about this person’s skills in managing their emotions and interacting with others.
It can be hurtful to hear criticism that is not constructive. Think again about this person’s skills in managing their emotions and interacting with others.
For example, if your boss says, “This is a terribly written article,” you can follow up by asking, “I’d like to hear more details about what you don’t like about the article. Let’s work together to improve it. "
