One way to determine whether the voice is yours is to determine whether you are responsible for it. If you are not responsible for the voice (e. g. , are you thinking, making, and saying the words consciously?) and if you have no clue what this voice will say next, this could be a sign of a mental disorder, such as schizophrenia, depression or psychosis. Other symptoms of a mental disorder include hearing more than one voice; experiencing non-verbal thoughts, visions, tastes, scents and touches that you didn’t call into existence; experiencing the voices as a waking dream that feels real; experiencing voices that are present all day and that negatively impact your daily functioning (e. g. , you become isolated and withdrawn or the voices threaten you if you don’t do what they say). If you are experiencing any of these symptoms during your periods of self-talk, it’s important that you consult a mental health professional in order to rule out a psychiatric disorder that could be adversely affecting your life and health.
Self-talk is not necessarily a bad thing. Articulating your thoughts can help you organize them. It can also help you think through things more carefully, particularly when making a tough decision, like where to go to college or whether or not do buy this gift or that gift for someone. [3] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
However, if your self-talk is mainly negative, where you typically rebuke and criticize yourself (e. g. , “why are you so stupid?”, “you never do anything right”, etc. ), this may be a sign of an underlying psychological or emotional problem. [6] X Research source In addition, if your self-talk is repetitive and focuses on something negative that happened to you, this may be a sign of a tendency to ruminate. For example, if you were recently in a small tiff with a coworker and you spend the next two hours thinking of and talking to yourself about all the things you should have said, this is not healthy. It is ruminating and dwelling on the issue. [7] X Research source
Do I frequently feel concerned or guilty about how much I talk to myself? Does my self-talk make me sad, mad, or anxious? Is me talking to myself such a big problem that I try to avoid public situations to prevent embarrassment? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, then you should consult a counselor or other mental health professional. A licensed mental health professional can help you reflect on why you talk to yourself and work with you to develop strategies to bring the habit under control.
Do people give me weird looks while I’m walking around? Do people often ask me to quiet down? Is the first thing someone hears from me is me talking to myself? Have my teachers ever recommended me to the school counselor? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, then you should consult a counselor or other mental health professional. In their reactions, people may be expressing concern for your well-being. However, it’s also important to note that you may be disrupting others when you self-talk and that you may need to get this habit under control for the sake of your social relationships.
You can even press your teeth down on your lips so you cannot open your mouth. This will help, but keep in mind that it may also look odd to those around you! Try chewing gum too keep your mouth occupied and not able to talk. [8] X Research source If it’s too challenging to just start thinking rather than talking, try mouthing the words. This way, the conversation can continue on but won’t be audible to others.
For example, let’s say you went on a date but haven’t heard from the guy yet. This is one dialogue that you might be tempted to say out loud to yourself, but that you can also write down: “Why hasn’t he called me? Maybe he is busy or maybe he doesn’t like you. Why would you think he doesn’t like you? Maybe he is just really busy with school or maybe you’re just not a good match for each other because you don’t have the same interests or priorities. Well, maybe, but I still feel rejected. That’s an understandable feeling, but he’s not the only guy in the world and, more importantly, there’s lots about you that is great; in fact, what makes you feel good about yourself?. . . " This kind of dialogue and journaling exercise can help organize and reflect on your thoughts. It can also be a good mechanism to keep yourself on the path of thinking and conveying positive thoughts about yourself, and correcting those negative ones you may feel. Get in the habit of keeping your journal with you at all times, whether in your bag, car or pocket. There are even journaling apps for your smartphone, too! Another benefit to this writing exercise is that you’ll have a record of the sort of things you talk about and are concerned with. Patterns may emerge. Creativity may flow. And you’ll have something to show for it![10] X Research source
If you feel anxious about socializing and talking with others, try taking a few small steps to initiate conversations. For example, if you come across someone who seems friendly and receptive to you (by smiling at you, saying “hello” or making eye contact), try reciprocating and smiling or saying “hello” back. After a few positive experiences in this vein, you may feel ready to engage in more than just the basic pleasantries. Sometimes it is hard to read social cues and know how much to talk to someone. Trust is another thing that may take time to establish to converse comfortably with someone. If you feel too anxious or nervous about talking to strangers, that’s okay. However, it may be a good idea to look into support groups and personal therapy to help overcome this discomfort. If you want to meet more people, try taking up a new activity, such as yoga, pottery-making, or dance classes. Making an effort do more activities where other people are present (e. g. , a yoga workshop versus running on the treadmill in your own home) will give you more opportunities to have conversations with people who share your interest. If you live in a geographically isolated place, using the internet to stay in touch with people can be fulfilling. You can try chatrooms or forums where people discuss topics of interest to you. If you do not have the internet, try communicating the old fashioned way - with letters! Staying connected to others is an important part of being human.
Try listening to music. When on you are on your own or walking somewhere, give your brain something to focus to avoid the impetus to talk to yourself. [13] X Research source Music can be a nice distraction for your mind and may also inspire some new internal thoughts or bursts of creativity as well. Melodious sounds have been proven to encourage the release of dopamine in the reward/pleasure area of the brain, meaning that you will feel good while listening to music. [14] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source There’s an added benefit to even just appearing like you are listening to music. If you are wearing headphones and realize you are talking to yourself, people may think the headphones are for your cellphone and assume you are talking to someone else. Read a book. Reading can help you get lost in another world and requires a significant amount of concentration. Having you mind focused on something else will give you less opportunity to talk to yourself. [15] X Research source Watch TV. Try watching something you’re interested in on television or just having the TV on for background noise. This will help create a certain ambiance and a sense that the room is “full” and lively. It is for this reason that people who have trouble sleeping alone often turn on the TV as they fall asleep, just so that they feel like someone else is there even if it’s just on the screen! Watching TV also helps focus your attention and keep your brain busy. [16] X Research source
