Invest in some hobbies you find enjoyable, especially social hobbies that allow you to make friends and have fun. [1] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Look into sports teams or leagues, running clubs, or sewing groups. Do what piques your interest! Start cooking your meals, go to the gym after work or school, or spend more time with friends. If it’s too tempting to be in the house, get yourself out of the house during any vulnerable times. Go grocery shopping, visit a friend, or do some volunteering.
You may find yourself turning to pornography after an argument, to self-soothe when feeling moody, or as an excuse to to avoid doing something unpleasant. You may also use pornography as a go-to for boredom when you want a time-filler.
If you don’t know what to do to distract yourself, do something simple and repetitive, like folding laundry or washing the dishes.
Practice deep breathing. Sit comfortably and practice elongating each inhale and exhale until you feel completely relaxed. Write in a journal or use art (drawing, sculpting) as a healthy way to cope. Creating or listening to music can also be helpful. You want to connect to your emotions and engage your mind. Coping skills help you handle daily stress and build-up of stress. When exploring coping skills, do things that add to your life, not take away. For more information, check out How to Cope With Emotional Pain. When breaking from a pornography habit, you have to fill that space with a new habit, as your brain is going to crave the dopamine that you were getting from pornography. There’s going to be a detox as you make the transition, and it’s good to have your brain focused on something new as it’s letting go of the old behavior.
When you get an urge, begin to breath deeply. Close your eyes and begin to relax your body and your mind. Allow your thoughts to ’think’ for a bit, then gently push them out of your consciousness and focus on your breath. Any thoughts that come up can be acknowledged, then sent off. Focus primarily on observing your breath. Reach a place of deep relaxation. Many types of meditations exist. You can focus on clearing your mind, or you can place your focus on one word or phrase, such as “I love myself. ” Meditation is most effective when practiced regularly, on a daily basis. [6] X Research source For more information on how to meditate, check out How to Meditate for Beginners
Anticipate any problems and pay close attention to your surroundings to avoid compulsion. [7] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Adjust your search engine settings. Sometimes an internet search may lead to unintentionally stumbling across pornographic images or websites.
Let your imagination run wild. It can be freeing to be the master of your own sexuality and not rely on outside sources.
Instead of pointing your attention to pornography, turn your attention to your own body. Pay close attention to what brings you pleasure and what you enjoy, not just what your body is reacting to on a screen. Be mindful while you masturbate. Get out of your mind and focus on the sensations within your body. Don’t allow your mind to be distracted, but stay present with your body’s sensations. [9] X Research source
Getting vulnerable and honest about your addiction is one of the healthiest things you can do. You can also talk with a life coach or another safe and trustworthy individual if you aren’t able to speak with a therapist. If you experienced trauma, especially sexual trauma, it may be beneficial to see a therapist and help you overcome feelings related to experiencing the trauma.
Don’t look to pornography as a “how-to” guide. Ask your partner about sexual preferences and learn to be adventurous in person. Spend quality time with your partner and do things that you both enjoy together. You can make dinner together, read a book together, or take daily walks together. Do activities that engage you in conversation and where you can enjoy each other’s company.
