If you’re at a workplace, do what you can to make it seem like you’re moving around a lot. Even if you don’t end up being more productive, it can be helpful to put on a show for the people around you. A lot of hard work can go unnoticed unless you stress a point of making it visible. Be careful not to take this too far. If it seems like you’re trying to jump through as many hoops as you can just to impress, it will have a negative impact on the way you are perceived. [1] X Research source
If you’re trying to suck up to a family member, you should involve yourself in family activities. Most people regard family highly. If he’s into sports, for example, you should bring up your love of a certain team. You probably won’t be sincerely interested in everything that person values. Even so, you can at least acknowledge the worth of whatever he’s into.
While the most effective type of significance-affirming compliment will come up in relation to an existing conversation, you can flat-out say something to the same effect. Going up to someone and complimenting him shouldn’t be done if you feel you’re getting the reputation of a “yes man”. A thank-you card can achieve much of the same in this regard. Keep it short and to-the-point, and choose your words (and card) wisely.
If you’re sucking up to a boss, you could ask a coworker: “Hey, has the boss said anything about me lately?” If it’s someone in a social or familial setting (such as a girlfriend’s parents), you should ask someone your target would normally confide in what he knows about it. People tend to make their views apparent through body language. Smiling, a relaxed posture and steady eye contact are all positive signs.
Don’t make your call for help sound like you’re admitting to incompetence. Rather, make it clear you acknowledge you could stand to benefit from touching base with that person: “I’ve been looking for ways to improve on my efficiency for this project. If you’ve got the time, would you be able to show me a bit of the way you go about it?” This doesn’t only apply to a professional situation. There are skills you could stand to pick up from anyone, whether it’s a friend, significant other or family member. Gauge what your target is best at, and ask yourself if you would be interested in getting better at it. Don’t ever get imposing with your request for help. People only like to help if they feel like it’s their idea and they have a choice. Proficiency in a given skill is a good way to impress anyone. You’ll benefit yourself in this regard by getting help.
Be only as bold with a compliment as you mean it. Moderate compliments often feel more impactful because they’re more grounded in the real world. Instead of saying “You’re the best looking person on the planet”, for example, you could say “I think you take really good care of your appearance. " Be warm and enthusiastic. Make the person feel you like them. Make positive comments. For example, you can say I love how passionate you are about your work. [8] X Research source Make eye contact and smile during the conversation. It will give positive feedback to the person and show that you are having a nice time with them. [9] X Research source
This works in work and family situations alike. The payoff of this technique will flatter the person’s persuasive skills, while simultaneously proving you’re not afraid to stand by something. A transition from your original stance to the other person’s should feel natural. When you change your mind, you can say something like this: “You know, you make a really good argument about this. I never thought about it that way before, and now I see why you held that view all along. "
Don’t say compliments without planning them out first. If you’re consciously trying to suck up to someone, this might manifest itself as a needless quantity of compliment.
You should know which people are most likely to spread gossip around. These tend to be the loudest, fast-talking members of a given group. Mention something nice off-handedly to mutual contacts: “This reminds me, I’ve been really impressed with Person X’s leadership skills lately. He’s a great boss and really knows what he’s doing. " If you’re sucking up to a significant other, you should tell his friends how great you think he is: “I feel like I’m really lucky to have him in my life. "
For instance, you can ask: “I was really impressed by that project you did last Quarter. Could you tell me how you managed to pull off something that slick?”
Looking assertive will have a positive effect on your perceived work efficiency. If nothing else, make sure to fix your posture. Keep your back straight, your shoulders back, and stand as tall as you can.
Research a type of event beforehand to see what’s generally expected. Failing that, ask someone who will be going there as well. Certain family events (like funeral) may have specific requirements base on the given family situation.
Keep an eye on his or her body posture. Do your best to copy it. This is especially good if the person expresses confident body language, as you’ll have a positive example to follow right before your eyes.
Consistency is also one of the reason why you shouldn’t go overboard with your charm or effort. Even the most dedicated suck-up won’t be able to hold a momentum like that for long.
For example, if you’re running late for work one day, try to rationalize the mistake. Let yourself learn from it rather than get stressed over it. “I know that I shouldn’t have been late today, but it doesn’t mean o much when all is said. I’ll just make sure to learn from this mistake and see that it doesn’t happen in the future. "
